h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What a great and essential post. I got a little lost on the Corby part but then it all made sense again.

My personal experience of hoardes of clipboarders was in Swansea, Wales UK where I lived for a few years, until recently.

Oddly enough whenever I was in town to see my shrink, they all seemed to recognise something and I was hassled far less.

Its a lifestyle choice, but looking a bit scruffy works wonder on preserving personal space.

So I'd like to add looking dishevelled and a little unbalanced, at least until I improve my Latvian accent.

MG

Ooh, I liked this one as well.

Here's another suggestion for when one gets caught. Non sequiters!
Baffle 'em. Once they catch you and you know it, but before or while they begin their spiel, look them stonefaced in the eye and say "Snakes have no armpits" or "16 will get you 20", or heck even "YELLOW" will work pretty well. This should wrong-foot 'em for a moment, but they'll try again. Hit them with another. Try "When dead sailors pass in the night, they're sometimes scared shipless!" or "My bowling ball is frozen in a meatlocker in Toledo!" The trick is to keep your eyes empty of expression, and don't blink if you can help it. If this is properly done, very few clipboarders should be able to withstand more than three good non sequiters. And to ice the cake, the second they begin to step away, take a half step toward them with that same (non) expression on your face. You should look sort of like this without the grin --> They may change careers.

Essential advice
I find that if you can do it impersonating a glasweigan psycho (or Ned) works even better than being foreign. There is always the chance that a foreigner can be duped into handing over bank details via manipulation of the language barrier. However the fear of serious personal harm has always been a great presuader.

If you're actually in Corby while trying to implement a Corby, then you're most likely trying to dodge a glasweigan psycho anyway.

I'm going to be killed horribly next time I go there.

Oh well, I just won't go there again. Not like I'll be missing out on anything!

TK[1]