h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's not about weight. It's not about shape. We as a society have made it easy for us to sit around. Labor saving devices abound. The most popular "activity" seems to be sitting and watching television.

We forget that we are creatures of action. That's the way we have evolved. We are made to run, fight, f**k, climb, build. We're made to DO. Do things. All the time.

We think it's an amazing thing when someone can run 26.2 miles! We admire the athleticism of the people that can play football (soccer) for 45 minutes and then again for another 45 after a 20 minute break. We admire this while sitting on the couch. Our bodies are made to do all that and more. Run all day. Hunt something down. Climb a mountain for better berries. Plow and sow all day. Walk for hours to get somewhere.

What is beautiful? It's the ability to function. Seeing someone DO something well is beautiful. Carl Lewis running, Serena Williams playing tennis, my neighbor on his 15th lap at the pool, Andre Agassi reaching for that return, the 80 something lady who's always at the lake when I run, the power of Akebono, throwing an opponent in the sumo ring, a kid pedaling like mad on her bicycle, the undeniable determination of Mia Hamm, the guy with the cane and the twisted arm who walks around town every day, Lennox Lewis in the 10th round, the pot-bellied man in the back of the yoga class that does impossible things with his body, the doughy looking guy who finished the marathon in 5 1/2 hours but finished, dammit! These are beautiful people.

I get so mad that people obsess about shape. You've all met the guy who's about 30lbs overweight, can't climb a flight of stairs without getting winded and spends his days on the couch watching "sports" yet he sees himself fit to call women "fat" or to complain that her boobs aren't big enough. Get off that couch, softboy, so I can beat the fat off your ass.

We are shaming our ancestors, we are spitting on our evolutionary and biological heritage. A whole lot of evolution has gone into making us thinking and doing organisms. Let's not throw that away. Soon we'll be 50, soft, diabetic and full of regret that we didn't go out and DO when we were young.

Runner's World, April 2003, Page18: Helen Klein started running at age 55. Now she's 80 and she has finished 59 marathons and 132 ultramarathons. In her picture she's wearing purple (of course ), her face is all wrinkly from smiling and she's possibly the most beautiful woman in the whole magazine!! I'll bet her quality of life is tons better than softboy on the couch looking at porn and complaining about fat chicks. Let me quote Ms. Klein, "I like to inspire people. People are putting on more and more weight. They need to be responsible for their health. Good genes only go so far, it's your lifestyle that counts the most." BINGO She's having a blast!

What kind of lifestyle do we want for ourselves?

I've lost 110lbs. It took me 2 years and a hell of a lot of exercise. It's not a diet it's a lifestyle change that did it. I'm not beautiful. I don't have big shoulders, or a great back. I'm kind of pear shaped. My love handles are big enough to need 2 hands apiece. I can run a marathon, I can dance all night, I can enjoy my day, all day, without feeling limited by my own body. I'm not disgusted with myself. I kind of think of myself like an old VW. Not very pretty but it'll work just fine. That kind of confidence can't be shaken by a bad hair day, putting on a few pounds or having to let my belt out. I know that a good 5 mile run will make me feel just fine, no matter how much I weigh.

"Try not. Do or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda


"Arrr!"
--Maddog