h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

N went out with his mates yesterday. Said he'd be back at 6pm. Wasn't home at 7pm so i called to ask if he's be home for dinner. He was in a restaurant eating with his mates. Just asked him to call in future to let me know - asked if he's be late. No won't be late - well I said - can you call me if you're gonna be late - OK he says. At midnight i called to say i'm off to bed - and BTW thanks for my courtesy call to say you'd be late. Sorry he said - clearly not - well i said - you'd expect me to do the same and be pissed off if i didn't so just show me the same courtesy you'd expect. So in he staggers at 6am this morning - dirty shoes on the carpet - banging doors - throwing off his clothes - can't speak he's so drunk - and now still in bed sleeping it off. So much for a nice week end together - havn't seen him since Thursday! Am i too hard - do i expect too much? It feels very one sided - he doesn't do any house work, doesn't clean up unless i ask him to. Never cooks me a meal - never gives me flowers - never says i love you - but cracks up when i threaten to leave. Won't compromise, but has the cheekiest smile and makes me laugh no end. Is my best friend and tells me so. If protective and free at the same time. Am i so insecure that i need all the reassurance - shouldn't it just be enough that we're together? Journal rantings....

hi.

you dont know me and i dont know all of your situation, but...... dump him.

things wont improve and your life will get worse on each occasion that this happens.
trust me, been there done that.

you are worth more and as much as he apologised when he is sober, it will happen again and again.
and if you arent to careful.. violence might become an issue if you 'complain' once too often when he is drunk..

if you do want to spend the rest of your life with him, he has to realise that you need more consideration.

i hope it all works out for you.

Hi - i appreciate what you're saying and you are right in some areas but as for violence - actually he's totally opposite - he's probably the onld person i've ever met who never ever gets aggressive for violent when drunk. He's more likely to apologise when drunk than sober!

All i really want is for him to the more thoughful.

which you wont get, while he is out with the boys...

so you either accept it and do whatever it takes for a peaceful life...

or moan like hell and hope that he sees how much it upsets you and changes his ways. which in a way, isnt fair on him.

its all about give and take.
im sure it will work out in the end.

You're totally right of course. But it's good to get other peoples points of view on stuff. Thanx

I donot know which part of the world you are ... to apply this trait of culture.. i mean. All said and done, if the man has been able to come to your house so many times in spite of repeated pointers from you that you are not going to take it, believe me.... you still have the love for him that is letting him come to you.

Life is a matter of choice. you want to have it.. you have it. You don't want to, you can refrain from it. From reading your situation, i strongly feel that hte bond between you both is much more than what you could express there. you would not have reacted sympathetically towards him when one of the writers pointed out that you desert him before he whacked you (or something to that effect).

The beauty of a relation is always in the understanding hearts.