h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After breaking my foot in the most stupid $*%(^@ accident of all time, I have been homed. I no longer march at football games and take three mile runs in the afternoon/morning. I can hop at a speed that would astound the most jaded person. No longer do I spend hours sitting in bleachers in uniforms unfit for the Southern climate having long intellectual conversations on styles and values of underwear with my two favorite male section members, but instead, I sit on my lovely rump typing this. I also get to take Tylenol with codeine three times a day and get neverending amounts of pity at school for my...unfortunate accident. That's what you get for being a good sister.

PS- Cayle has carbuncles.

Just two questions
1. Whats a carbuncle
2. Whats Tylenol?

1. a carbuncle is a hair follicle that has been infected by the staph bacteria. carbuncles usually occur in groups and are most common on the back of 20-something year old males. they turn into pus-filled blisters (boils) if left untreated. they are usually treated with antibiotics and, due to certain autoimmune problems and/or skin sensitivity, can be chronically recurring. that's all i know and if you want more you can look it up.

2. tylenol is acetaminophen.

Oh acetaminophen, why didn't you say so?

because tylenol is easier to say...spell.

Yes well I always like a good gin an tonic.

or tonic and gin. im a bit too young for that yet.

Oh well, you will be able to drinkit soon. Think of it this way, a indeitment is not a conviction.

aww, no joe for you. just the contemplation of cayle's afflictions and the anticipation of next weeks hobblings down the hall towards another week of AP US HISTORY. (which needs to die a slow, painful death.) i discover my throat to be somewhat sore, not a good sign considering the approaching one-act. but anyway. i shall see you tomorrow, my injured friend. adieu, adieu.

ive got five years til i can drink legally. i have joe, dont worry. my throat is a bit sore, too. sarah has started the disease.

need some sort of small application, somthing that lets me translate from missalanous talk that I can't understand to inexplicaple rubish that I say all the time, this way I have the one thing that shall let me TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MHUAHAHAHAHAHAH!

take over the world, yes...beginning with switzerland. curse them for being so darn neutral. *bwahaha*

youre all in for a surprise. dorothy, go...http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F19585?thread=287585&post=3634443#p3634443 THERE. some really great stuff. APUSH is a college history class, joe is a male member of the human species, and my foot hurts.

Well there is of course one solution to the old day problem of a foot hurting, but it requires a woodern leg a pirates outfit and three letters of compliant:

bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:



Dear Sir,



Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head, and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.



Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.



The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by, and he receives another parcel and a note which says:



Dear Sir,



Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.



Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.



Now the man is really upset, since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next week he gets a small parcel and a note which reads:



Dear Sir,



Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your rear end and go as a caramel apple.



Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

that really had no relevance, you just wanted to post it.

I shall bow my head in shame :shame:

bad boy. go find a phone book.

yes mam.

power....

the ultimate afrodesaic. :P