h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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The British royal family is:
A) The most visible result of inbreeding outside of West Virginia
B) A final link for a disappointed people to what was once a glorious empire
C) A wellspring of fodder for tabloid reporters both at home and abroad, which does little credit to their home nation
D) Undeniable proof of the folly of the "divine right" dogma
E) A band of pirates, who still reap the rewards of loot gained from the hard work of citizens around the world, but especially from their own subjects.
F) An institution that should be disbanded, and a motley collection of fools who should be required to work for a living, and their homes turned into museums.

Indeed - and the argument that they do so much for the tourism industry is nonsense too. One of Europe's biggest tourist attractions is Versailles because it isn't cluttered up with pompous residents. In fact, the royals are the only foreigners who don't pay to go round windsor castle.

Perhaps the future monarchy should be part of some great gameshow - "who wants to be a union heir" springs immediately to mind