h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No, not back, not yet. No money, see? I'm still not back in work. But I will be.

I'm on a mood stabaliser now. I could be annoyed that it took two years of trying antidepressants that made me manic before they thought to try something different. But I'm not. The relief is too great to be annoyed. So that's good. Life is good and I'm writing again. Writing makes me miss this place more.

I'll leave you with something to think about, from the new writing...

...

‘So why aren’t you at Uni.?’

‘F**k Uni. My friend got herself a degree and she spends all day asking people ‘would you be interested in a mobile phone?’ and worrying that her job is going to be moved to India and she’ll end up back on jobseekers. What good would that do me? Oh, they tell you you’ll have a good job and a nice life and they shove you out the door after three years with ten grand of debt and a wonderful future in telesales just waiting for you. F**k that. Maybe I do want a better life but education isn’t going to get it for me. Why do you think I’m here? Do you think I’d choose to hang out with old women for the fun of it? I need money, old crone, and when I have some money I can go and do something. Any bl**dy thing. I don’t even know what, everything I can think of is too small and too temporary. But there is something, I can bl**dy feel it. There’s a big world full of things I don’t know about yet and I’m going to go and get myself a big f**king chunk of it. I’m going to go and see incredible things and then I’m going to do incredible things and people will look at me and see, instantly, how f**king amazing I am. Nobody sees it now because everyone here is dead inside. We’re living in a country of zombies, they act like people but their souls were pulled out at birth so they wouldn’t notice that the world just wants to crap on them from such a f**king height and keep them in place because there’s no room for them. Too many people wanting too many things and no space to spare so we get shoved down over here in the a*se end of the world and no one has to worry about us coming and competing and taking their chances away from them because they never gave us chances of our own. They just gave us things. Toys to keep the provincial children happy. Give them a thirst for stuff and let them drown in it. Never mind that the bit in us that wants more is desiccated and mildewed because it hasn’t seen the light of day since we learned to toddle and click a mouse. They look at us and think we’re less than they are because we drink more and act like scum on a Saturday night. But we’re just acting out what they made of us. We drink and shout and f**k and all of it is screaming out the horror, the emptiness of having nothing and nowhere and looking ahead to years of the same with no end in sight till death puts a cap on it and says, yes, you wasted your life all right. No one is going to remember you. You were small and insignificant and the world would have been better without you. You took up space for eighty years and cost money that would have been better spent on anything else but you. So we run through the streets screaming, drunk and high because we’re still alive, we still feel, and that’s all we’ve got so we wallow in it and feel as much as we can and hope it lasts us. Go out on any weekend and you can hear every young voice crying for help at the same time, with the same words, and all you hear of it is debauchery that disgusts you and makes you think how it wasn’t like that when you were young. Well you should thank f**king god and weep for us because it wasn’t like that when you were young and weren’t you lucky.

‘Do you think I want to spend the rest of my life going out, clubbing drinking and f**king?’

‘I thought that’s what all young people wanted now.’

‘F**k you. F**k the lot of you. No it’s not all I f**king want. It’s just all that I can get.’

‘Where are you going?’

‘I’m going to go and get pi**ed and laid.’

Holy hell

Glad to know we've not been forgotten. I'm going to save reading Post 2 for later (so I don't miss you while you're online) but you should know that you've also not been forgotten Not even close.

Take your time. Get your life together. Then come back to us with all due glory and pomp. Maybe a parade. I know the President of h2g2.
(you've missed a lot )

I've seen bits and pieces (Go Hyp!!! Couldn't be a better president)and wish I had the time now to trawl properly and catch up on everything. Now that I'm a bear of slightly more brain again things should start getting back on track. Job first, marry my lizard once the law changes, go back to uni and finish the unfinished business there, and along the way internet connection will happen!

Did I say I miss you all? I really do.

We do miss you

Sounds like a good plan.