h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...occasionally, just occaisionally, it shines a bit, too.

I was right down in the dumps this morning - my nice "new" car that I bought yesterday sprung a hitch within 3 hours of buying it; the battery refused to charge, and for th first time in my life I had to call out the RAC (this after an adult life time of rustbuckets held together with paper and string!)

I called into the garage on the way home, but the boss was out, but I was promised he'd get in touch asap (ie, today)

I rang the garage twice this morning; onto answaphone, so Ev is not a happy bunny. Just as I was going to the phone for the third chivvying call, the dealer rang, apologising for not getting back sooner, he'd been very busy. Explained the problem amicably enough - he'd order a battery, no problem.

He said to try the car, if it was working, bring it down and he'd fit a new battery, if not, call him back, and he'd come to me and fit it.

Fair enough. I didn't expect the battery to have held its charge, but whatever magic the RAC man had done, had held thru out the night, so I varoomed down to the dealer.

And I mean Varoomed - this new car's an absolute delight to drive; when it works. For a smallish engine it's certainly got a bit of poke in it

Arrived. The boss is attempting to sell cars, answer phones and buy used cars, simultaneously and at the same time. During a pause, he told me he hadn't had a spare minute to collect the battery yet - its up at Sammys Spares.

Which is handy, because I know Sammy's Spares boss - he's the dad of my eldest son's best mate. Well, he doesn't really know me, and I don't really know him, but we know about each others' sons, which makes us practically related in a town this size.

So being a helpful sort, I offered to go up to Sam's, collect the battery and bring it back. Which I did. Varoom varoom.

2 hours later, the boss *still hasn't had a minute to fit it!

So I sat, and waited, and read a few booklets about cars and insurance policies and warrenties and whathaveyous. I smoked a couple of ciggies, and watched the boss run himself ragged. When people tell me they're busy, I usually take it with a large pinch of salt, but this guy was *busy* The phone rang a lot whilst he was out of the office, and I hate hearing a phone ringing, but as I couldn't find the phone I had to let it ring!

Finally there was a lull - he immediately nipped out and fitted my new battery.

"You need a receptionist" I said
"Sure do"
"I can do that, gizza job" I said, jokingly. I mean, who'd want me to work for them? I'm willing, but not particually able.
"OK, I'll be in touch - I'll sort you out a few days. I could do with someone like you"

Stunned or what???!!!

"You serious?"
"Yeah. I'll be in touch"

Well, whether he was serious or not, it was a great boost for me; I'd be on an "as and when" basis, (I think) which would suit me better than a "regular" gig, as I have good days, bad days and middling days, and I can't predict when they'll be. I know last time I attempted to work 2 days a week I lasted about 3 months before I collapsed for a couple of months, and the last time I attempted full time work I lasted 3 weeks before I fainted on the train thru exhaustion at the end of the third week.

So I'm none too hopeful I'll be able to manage it.

But I'll try. I'll try anything - and the boss is well aware of my situation and seems OK about it

I'm not going to get too enthusiastic about it yet; I'm not getting my hopes up, either. People say things to be kind. Its probably not a definate; it's probably not even a "maybe"

But it was a nice boost to my self esteem, so I thought I'd share it.

.

I just love these little "coincidences" the Universe doles out every now and again

with the job offer (and the job)

I agree - right time, right place, etc etc.

Unfortunately, "The Universe" is a bit like the government, in my experience - gives with one hand and takes with the other!

I used to think it was *nice, once.

Now I just know the Universe likes a joke just as much as anyone else So I smile and I laugh and I reserve judgement till I see results.

But it's a nice buzz, and if anything comes of it I'm not going to complain

My heart sank when I read the beginning of your post but I cheered up big time as I scrolled down. Glad the car is ok, and your faith in the garage is restored (shaken but not stirred).

As for the job offer, that sounded like a serious offer to me, and it sounds as if you could pick your own hours too. It is dreadful when you would like to work but your body won't co-operate isn't it?

How would such a job affect your benefits? I am not being nosy, well yes I am, but I have a specific reason for asking.

Whatever, I wish you . I hope an offer does materialise and that you have a crack at it. How far is it from home? I reckon you would fit right in and give any other unhappy bunnies short shrift Some work in lieu of a free service etc. might work, rules permitting

Will keep fingers crossed and look forward to next instalment

Websailor

PS I hate phones ringing too. Still if you can't find it, that solves it

Webbie

You do make me laugh Webbie - I think you;re probably just about as cynical as I am!

O-Kay from the top

How far is it from home - a big bonus - about a mile away - 2 mins by car and about an hour's lurch if needs be

How would such a job affect your benefits? I'm not sure about that - I *think* - tho I have't checked the DWP site yet, that I'm "allowed" to do 16 hrs... from the Government's POV It might be 15. They like to be awkward

Local Government is a bit different - I'm not sure which site/information desk to refer to to ensure that Canterbury County Council doesn't extrete on me from a great height.

I'm absolutely certain those buggers move the goal posts to suit themselves. I'd put money on it.

I'll check CAB, and do the official sites, and then I'll ask half a dozen working crip friends I have and see what they say. They, of all people *know*

It's not that I don't *want* to work...and I've more than half a notion that "the boss" would prefer it to be cash in hand etc etc (and frankly, so would I, as long as I'm not earning gazillions and I get an attack of social conscience)

But legal and above board would technically be best, if only to stop the dobbers and begrudgers and the anal retentives in this neck of the woods from ringing up the Snitchline.



Would you believe, within 3 whole days of me being awarded DLA after all that struggle, some mean spirited bugger had rung the benefit line telling them all about my jaunt up to London to an H2 meet, last year??

I hadn't even been given the money before some mean spirited get had got a dig in

(I've a very shrewd inkle who it is; an acquaintence of a mate, who, like me, likes to celebrate good news. Once I can prove positively it *was Angie Motor Mouth, believe you me, she'll regret the day I was born. I won't do anything until she trips herself up - she isn't known as Motor Mouth for nothing - and then... In the meantime, she's a back boiler job and not worth getting stressed over)

I digress - sorry!

I'll have to check on the hours; I'll do as many as I'm able. *If* I'm able. I've had a really reasenable spell lately, which (possibly) means I'll be as much use as as an udder on a bull in the next few weeks; the Intestines have been causing me mega hassles lately, which usually fortells a spell of 4-6 weeks being tied to the house "in case".

I hate playing politics, but I know for a fact if I do even a minute over what I'm legally entitled to, then I end up paying for the priviledge to work, and I'm not prepared to do that.

Which is a bugger, because I really *want to work. On the income I'm on, the loss of even a tenner (thru tax, or whatever) is the difference between eating and being bored, and not eating and being stressed - and putting myself thru extra pressure.

Ah well. It gives a body an interst if nothing else

I certainly like the idea of work in leiu of services - I'd trade a working car (and petrol money) for a fair days work!

I knew you wanted to work, that was obvious but I get furious about the obstacles put in the way of people who could and would do just a few hours. The mean spiritedness makes people afraid to work. All this taking of getting people back in work and off benefits is a local of bull. They need encouragement and support not a kick in the teeth every few yards. No wonder people stay on benefits even when they could work. The alternatives are just not there.

'Fraid I am very cynical. I have been fairly lucky in life but I have lots of friends in your position and it makes me hopping mad

Oh, well, Ev, I better go and calm down before my other half pulls the plug on me.

Take care, Speak soon

Websailor

Don't worry about me Webbie - the burocrat or mean spirited bugger who could really keep me down for more than a while hasn't yet been born

Or..if they have, they don't live around me much I fall, I whinge, I feel sorry for myself and do the "Why me???" routine, and then if someone doesn't give me a kick - or a kind word; I prefer a kind word if it's from the right person I usually get so furious with the meanmindedness of it all I erupt and get something done. I count the bodies afterwards, I regret to say.

And once they've discovered what I've done the lads say "Yay mum" and go around all puffed up with pride

I've always worked like that - I just find it harder going than I used to. On the plus side, I can spot bull poo from 60 paces now; I'm allowed to do *over 24 hours... which is about 8 hours more than I can do to start with That's like asking me to do nought to 60 in under a minute. Fat chance. Naught to 60 in 3 minutes? Possibly. After a couple of practice runs. And a prevailing wind.

I'll work around it somehow. Dobbers begrudgers and burocratic bull poo not withstanding.

I've a brain, and I'm still not too afraid to use it, honest.

Regards to PHM

I've *got to ask... what does that stand for?

As a Pontefract, Yorkshire man from literally round the corner from Prof. Animal, who is Ponte Soft Man, being such a lovely fella, mine is Ponte Hard Man (well, he likes to think he is!!)

Websailor

I had an idea it was something to do with him being a "Macho Husband" or something similar, but the moniker makes a lot more sense now

Prof Chaos is priceless, isn't he? I've passed the time of day with him a couple of times, and he seems that rarest of beings, a Genuinely Nice Person.

Everyone who has met him says so, and certainly he has been a good long distance friend to us.

BTW, mine used to be "macho husband" but unfortunately is no longer, not that I would tell him that More like a steam engine with little steam!!

Websailor