h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Werl... I've better weeks, I must admit

Frankly, I've had better years if I'm honest.

This rather twee theory that once you've had a run of Bad Luck it must mean that after a while Life evens things up and you get a run of Good Luck is not actually happening

Sure, you make your own luck - and I've grabbed every opportunity I can see to ensure Stuff happens. But unfortunately, there seems to be less and less Good Stuff to grab - and an unlimited amount of Sh*te happening.

O-K

I've already mentioned that I'm in a spot of bother with the Local Council - they're the bods that pay my Housing Benefit. It's my own fault, I suppose, because I didn't let them know immediately, if not sooner, that Eldest had started work and was earning a pathetic pittance of a wage as a Kitchen Worker.

There were several reasens -

1) To begin with, we weren't sure if it'd be permanent, Kitchen work being notoriously casual and seasonal

2) Its my name on the Housing Benefit agreement, and on the tenancy agreement, so therefore *my* income has not been altered

and 3) I've discovered that, whoops, the painkillers I'm on not only have caused the brain to work a lot slower than it used to, it has banjaxed the *awareness that the brain is cream cheese, and although it was one of those jobs I've been meaning to do - telling the Council, that is - I never got around to it. I simply haven't had that many "good" days, and frankly, when I *do have good days I tend to either catch up on housework or actually go out and have a bit of a Life.

(I know; Fun is not something I'm technically supposed to have, but hell, I'm human; I certainly don't spend a lot on a social life, because I make sure the bills are paid first. I may be a bit late - but they're all paid eventually)

Oh yes - and my rent was increased last October. No problem. But the Council didn't increase my rent allowance (by a paltry 8 quid towards a £25 increase) until April of this year - so for six months I was out of pocket. And no, I didn't get the blasted thing backdated, either. The council only do their adjusting "once a year".

It's the Rules, apparently. There is No Appeal I was told. Take it up with Mr Brown or Mr Prescott - we're only humble Local Government, enforcing Central Government's rules. You can't blame Us.

I don't "blame" anyone. Life's got lumps - but I am a tad sick of getting more than my fair share of the dirty things.

I managed, I coped, but about 5 or 6 weeks ago, one of the Housing Benefit Officials came round to inspect my rent book and ask about any changes. Like a dodo I mentioned my son had begun work.

And I was asuured that there would be no problems now that I'd explained why I hadn't mentioned it sooner - for the reasens I've already stated.

Like Hell!

On checking my bankstatement I find that the following week my Housing Benefit had been stopped. There were no letters or phone calls telling me what was happening, and neither were there any communication telling me that I hadn't provided enough evidence of earnings.

It just Stopped.

And will remain suspended until their Investigation is complete. Which I find can be up to 2 months after my interview - which was Tuesday just gone.

And at this interview I was assured that their decision "wouldn't take long" and they were satisfied my reasens were true, if a little muddled. Mitigating Circumstances and all that.


Today my Landlady called on me.

A real live visit by a real live landlady - who isn't best pleased that I'm behind in my rent and appear to have no means of paying for a couple of months

Except for my son, bless him, who is getting as much work as he possibly can do to get us out of Thingy Creek and find the means to hire us a paddle to get us out of the situation.

Like I said, Kitchen work is notoriously insecure and badly paid, so there's no guarantee the poor kid can *get extra shifts. It's great he's willing to take on responsibilities like this; But it's complete role reversal - he's taking on "my" duties. Very laudable. What annoys me is that Central Governemnt assumes all adult children *will do this - when in actual fact, its only a moral obligation, based on respect and love for their parent, and *not a legal obligation. After all, it's *my name on the contracts, and not his.

He's looking for a better paid job - but again, if his wage increases then he simply has a proportionate amount of contributions to make, so he too is stuffed.

And I feel impotent and helpless because there is no way I can actually work due to a lousy spine and an infinate amount of pain. And there's no hope of a cure - just poor pain relief. And stress, stress, stress - I don't care *how relaxed I feel about the situation, lets face it, it isn't going to go away, no matter how calm I feel about it.



(So I may not live longer than the rest of you - but it's going to *feel like I am doing)


Anyway, to cut a long story short, Mrs Landlady listened to what I had to say, checked my paperwork, and says she'll put pressure on the Benefits Department to get their fingers out, and tell them if she doesn't get her rent on time it's me for eviction

In the meantime, I'm to pay off as much of the rent as I can as frequently as I can, and tell the Council the same story. As long as she sees I'm showing willing, I'm safe. For the time being, anyway.

She also suggested that I change the tenancy with her to Joint Tenancy with the Eldest. That way, when (and if) I ever get rehoused by the council, he has a safe home to live in.

I'm not sure if he'd be willing to share with his brother, but the youngest could have a home with me if needs be until he gets sick of a poor atandard of living, (which he is already) and Foxtrot Oscars off.

Although he's a dead weight; and despite the fact there's only 15 months between them in age, Youngest is a very VERY immature 17 yr old.

I didn't christen him Kevin, but I might have well have done.

Mrs Landlady's being extremely reasenable in the circs - fair enough, she wants whats due to her, but at least she has the decency to accept my explanations and give me a small amount of breathing space.


On the plus side, due to a lot of belt tugging, I am confident I can get totally up to date with the rent by the due date this month - and not to the detriment of paying the utilities, thank god. If I don't eat, then I reckon I can just about manage.

And no, I'm *not being satirical. I'll scrounge the kids leftovers and drink lots of tea. I've done it before, when they were very little, and I'll just have to do it again for a while.

On the minus side, unless the Council makes its decision rapid, short of the Eldest working himself into the ground, I haven't much hope of managing for much longer.

And, ironically enough, because of the piankillers and their cumulitive effects I was beginning to relax and began to gradually improve. Very slow improvement, but I wasn't in as much pain, because I was finally physically relaxing. Because I wasn't aware of how serious and potentially "down the slippery slope I go" of the situation. I felt less physically stressed because my mind wasn't aware of what was happening, and potentially *going to happen and I wasn't mentally alert enough to deal with stuff in a time scale that was better suited to me. The spirit was willing, but the body was lagging behind a lot.


I know I'll cope, because I've always managed to cope. I don't intend stopping surviving just yet.

But I'd have liked it to have been *me that coped, and not have had to share the problem with a young lad of 19, who in theory, ought to be working souly to support himself, and enjoying life.

Just as *I ought to have been able to do, had it not been for a large stroke of disaster in the form of ill health. I haven't decided to opt out of working - I'd love to; I'm trying to retrain and get myself well enough to put back something to a society that has shafted me

Something along the lines of From each according to his means, to each according to their needs.


I read somewhere that a society's compassion and civilised behaviour can be assessed by it's attitude and behaviour toward its less advantaged members - the sick, the disabled and the truely disadvantaged

I'll leave the reader to decide which sort of society I live in.

Familiar.
I know much of this story about pain by having lived it.
Many here do

Wish I could be helpful,"not being alone with it" only helps so much.

I hate being dependant in any way.
It is the hardest part.

Giving less is painful whether it be about work , family, society or fun.

What I do not know of (kids) my sister does.
She has a daughter (22)that has worked since 16 just to help a bit with constant threat by debt, and basic practical lack of security.
The woman-child has not had the fun she should nor the choices she deserves in order to get ahead at a young age. She also has a daughter age 30, who is either oblivious or uncaring. No help.

May you get the strength and practical help you need

I honestly do not know where mine comes from sometimes.
I have found in the worst of times.
I say; I give, I cannot take any more
Magicallywith some explitives or tears or both it seems to get a tiny bit better.

I then wonder why I did not say "I Give" sooner! Maybe I would have suffered less!
Nah bet not. Well- I know am not built that way in any case.
I refuse to say enough as long as I can take it.
Good or bad.

Hope you recieve some good news.

Thanks Abbi

I've still got the strength (of mind, at least) I need, and I'll keep going to drum up the Practical Support.

Like Arthur Dent sais "I'm game; we'll see who rusts first"

I find it sad, more than comforting, to know I'm not alone, really.

In an ideal world, any member of a "civilised" society
should (IMO) get the necessary aid to get back on their feet as well as they possibly can do so they can have the dignity of being part of it rather than be pushed to one side.

I'm thinking more of your sister's 22yr old and my lad's situations than I am my own.


(Pah! Don't get me started on that topic...please I could fill the ether with on Rants on the lines of "It's not Fair" which is just a waste of valuable energy. Life *isn't fair, but it still seems to be one of the myths/beliefs/hopes we carry along into adulthood - it's probably the belief that life *could be fair that gets 90% of us motivated enough to get out of bed each day. Hope is a wonderful emotion, and like Optimism is a double edged sword.)

But its not an ideal world, so I'll have to make do with the one I live in. And offer all the knowledge I've gleaned to Eldest so that he can deal with stuff as well as he can for his own benefit.

With my brain and his body we should be able to cope OK


But ideally, it shouldn't *be like that.


I hope I'll get some good news soon, too Abbi

I'm starting off a new round of phone calls, canvassing and general harassment to various government bodies, health organisations, etc tomorrow, when the offices open

If nothing else, it'll pass the time - and I may yet get a Result

I know.
It is always sad to have company in such distressing things....

Can be good to know there are many others coming up with the same sort of strength day after day. Humans can be quite amazingly resilient. Can be draining though. Something good has to be put back in at times.

We are on the same page on all the above.
Same with the last posted thread of yours, I never got back to further respond to!I did not want to be misunderstood on one point in particular.

Which point was that Abbi?

Don't you ever worry about being misunderstood - I think you and I are much on the same wavelength, and probably come to much the same conclusions, but just go about it different ways, and different processes

And because we're all individuals, express "the same" ideas in our own ways

I've said it before, but praps this bears repeating... language is a wonderfully imprecise tool. It's its greatest strength...ad equally so, it's hugest weakness.


My God, that's a bit deep for 6.25am, isn't it I've had a bad night, and been pottering about for the last couple of hours to take my mind off it. I'll have to get back to sleep soon, as tomorrow(well, today, really) is going to be busy and stressy and needs concentration. Rent still needs paying, and canvassing to the council (and now my local MP) still needs to be done whether I'm poorly or not.

And we still need to eat and get on with life...so I need to chivvy Son No 2 (who may possibly have *just woken up and smelt the coffee at long last!) into making lists, going to the supermarket and learning rapidly the gentle art of stretching a penny double and still bringing home some change!

Son No 1, who has worked so far 6 shifts this week, attended my *ex'es mother's funeral as representative from our familly and been liason bod with the hospital and the outside world, deserves a lie in and a bit of stress free time out.

* a lovely bloke whose been a friend of mine since I was 16. We're fine as friends, but a disaster as live in partners. He's one of the most well meaning people I know, but oh boy, has he got a lot of issues to sort out

Best get back and get a bit more rest, I think........... catch ya later - and don't forget to raise that point.

You got me all curious.

So you do not have to wait for the whole point
It's a male/female points I was afraid I was possibly misunderstood.

We are on the same page, just wanted to gab more.

When I said the stats had me forgotten by aquiring a disease thought to be residing in 98 percent males.
I have a beef with the stats getting in my way.
It was not a male issueI hate the stats that have always let me down by falling through a hole. Well not always! I have beat them in spectacular good ways also

Here in the US they study primarily males and that is starting to change. It does affect the rate of diagnosis. Most recently a glaring example is in heart disease.

Basically I feel until we get the male female stuff into more light, perpectives of appreciation, including differences, we are not likley to go far with any other human or animal discrimination problems.

Cannot think of you without thinking of my sister and her kids, or the other way around!

I dunno what to say about that last sentence. I think that's one of the nicest things I've ever had said to me. Thanks

Yeah - know exactly what you mean about the male/female thing...and also the stastics scenario.

The thing about stats is they're just that - inanimate *things* that can be manipulated to represent whatever the hell the statees want to portray

Unfortunately, reality involves *people* who are

a) not inanimate (unless we get left too long, in which case, I tend to seize up a little

and

b) despite they're manipulated quite frequently by the system, they're not insentiate, - and nor are they *supposed to be!

Sorry, just my worth of a rant.

It's been a heavy day today - pain, admin and just generally I'll survive.

I've got a friend coming to visit me from the other end of my county for the weekend. Sarah the Absent says she'll be along to give Eldest a bit of a break, and me and the house a bit of a scrub down.

I'm one lucky woman to have so many good friends

You are lucky to have so many friends

Thank goodness for one giving your son a break

Pardon the chuckle at Sarah the Absent.
Teehee - gotta borrow that phrase.
Only the name will be changed to identify the guilty (in my case)thereby protecting the innocent.

Sarah wouldn't mind a chuckle at her expense - she likes providing amusement!

She's a great lass, though. I met her when I came back to GB from Eire about 14 years ago; she was my dental nurse, and after a time, we found we had mutual interests, like drinking, tarot, ... oh just stuff, generally, and we've kept in touch on and off ever since.

I've watched her grow from a gangly 20 something year old to an equallly scatty, eccentric 30 something.

Still the same person, just a bit older

Wiser? Not really.

That one was born wise. Why improve on what couldn't be improved one jot or tittle