h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmmm....I need help. I've done nothing but think about R since Saturday night and that's very very bad Oh and Monday was just as he'd predicted...Whack! I was sitting there thinking about him and how I'm gonna tell him how right he was. And oh my god I got another freak!! As if the guy in the booze can Friday night wasn't bad enough, there I was sitting at the end of the bar in the totally gay establishment in the gay part of town when this guy weaves his way over to me and slurs if I know where the smoking section is. I said I didn't and he went to walk away then came back and asked what my accent was. I told him and he said I had lovely hair and that I was gorgeous. I muttered an embarrased thankyou and he got 4 steps away from me when 2 members of staff started shouting at him for stealing something. Oh my good god!!! HOW the f**k does this happen to me???? There is a big red flashing neon sign above my head that says 'freaks, weirdos, high guys, drunk guys and dirty old men come and chat me up' I'm sure of it!! And the nice guys must be able to see it and that's why they stay the hell away from me (guess who I'm thinking about when I say 'nice guys'). I cannot BELIEVE I managed to get chatted up by a freaky fella in a gay bar...This is beyond a joke now it's clearly a serious f*****g problem.