h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mmmmmmmmm.......pretty colours ..........

Look deep into them... You are feeling sleepy, sleepy...

CRIKEY!!!!.....................

Mwah ha ha haaah. In me powers.

When you wake, you will have no conscious memory of these instructions. You will gather all the money you can and send it to me. When you have no money, you will sell things you own and send the proceeds to me. When you have no possessions, you will steal and send the profits to me.

*snaps fingers*

MUST GET CASH.....
MUST GET CASH.....
MUST GET CASH.....
MUST GET CASH.....
MUST GET CASH.....
MUST GET CASH.....
MUST GET CASH.....
MUST GET CASH.....

Wow. It worked. It never has before.

mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha............................cash FOOLED YOU!!!!!

...Or am I only letting you think you have?

I am changing my nickname to Tony The Tiger

So I see. It's grrrrreat.

here is your cash o great and wonderfull master *hands over cash* oh, i brought you some oj and a donut !! WHAT THE!!!! WHAT AM I DOING WITH THIS STUFF?!?! *takes a bite of donut* sure is tasty though!!

*quietly folds away money*

Good boy, good boy. Tomorrow, I want you to 'encourage' Bill Gates to abandon Windows in favour of Linux. And while you're there, could you give him a slap for Dungeon Seige.

KICK BILL GATES..............
KICK BILL GATES..............
KICK BILL GATES..............
KICK BILL GATES..............
KICK BILL GATES..............
KICK BILL GATES..............
KICK BILL GATES..............
KICK BILL GATES..............
KICK BILL GATES..............
KICK BILL GATES..............
KICK BILL GATES..............

Please don't pick on the Tiger it's an endangered species. Firstly Tony the Tiger it looks like i'm stalking you and i am... so be afraid, very afraid. secondly this page is really very pretty but makes me want to sleep....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..*starts awake*... whoa! I had a friend once (just the one) but he was a level 10 Magelord... Then he changed his name from Zarky the Zarkarian to Bill Gates. Using illusion to fool the world into thinking Microsoft was a useful product..... (so presumably his powers exceed my own!) Enough for now my master begs my attention on messenger.....zzzzzzzzzz.... Fare thee well Dungeoneers!

*Casts maximised negative energy ray at Beegle*

Well that's not terribly friendly.....
It's just a good thing i'm such a positive person that i nullify the beams effects... *mops brow* phew!
As for you well i cower before you an attempt to pacify your raging anger at being questioned... *cowering over here!*

You may treat the Tiger as you wish it is no concern of mine. I shall however report you to the FFPWACFT (Fund For People Who Have A Concern For Tigers)... BE AWARE... Tigers also make good medicine!

Them's good eatin'! Don't worry, if the FFPWACFT arrive I'll make my escape while they're pronouncing their name.

*Casts silence at Beegle*

..............
.........
..................
*Beegle looks as though he may just have said something very interesting* (probably not!)

ON BEHALF OF BEEGLE'S FRIENDS WE WOULD LIKE TO THANKYOU FOR FINALLY SHUTTING HIM UP...