h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Darling
Your not going to believe this but one of my mates is going through a sex change at the momment.So I know all the answeres and how to go about it.I'm going to a big fancy dress party tomorrow perhaps I will go as a lesbian, do they wear stockings and suspenders because I quite like that idea.Kick me in the teeth when I'm down (failled smuggler) I will bounce back.

Ermm Lew, the lesbians i know don't wear stockings and suspenders but then how the hell do I know, i don't look up thier skirts, so they may do Try again dear

I will kick that into touch then Mags. Serious though Mags my mate was always a transvestite and two years ago decided he wanted to be a woman. They gave him hormones to grow his breasts and slow down the growth of his body hair.Very soon they are going to operate to remove hie penis and make him a vagina.But it's the second part of the operation that hurts, when they widen his mouth and shrink his brain .Sorry could not resist that all true bar the last bit.

Lew, wimmin may have a smaller brain but it is perfectly formed. Actually some scientists ran tests and came to the conclusion that wimmin are more intelligent than men. There you go, scientifically proven. Your mate has the right idea, joining the cleverer sex

Hi Magster
Ooooh !!!!!!! Im feeling a bit delicate today,a terrific party last night . Got in at about 07:00 this morning and due back out partying at 15:30 it's getting increasingly difficult to last the pace .Those scientist that ran the tests and came to the conclusion that wimmin were more intelligent than men were wimmin I expect.You can't get anything more scientifically proven than that .

Lew, you are a dirty stop out and at your age too Life in the old dog yet, hey?
Don't disparage the scientists who only confirmed what wimmin knew all along. You men just can't take it otherwise it would be you lot that bore the children

Hey Magster
What do you mean at my age? I will have you know my best years are still to come . Can't take it, bore the children,I'll have you know if it wasn't for men doing all the work the kids would not be conceived it the first place .They tell me you wimmin just lie there like a sack of spuds.Still being virgin I would not know (I think I'm digging myself into a hole here)But believe me one day men will get equality.

Lew I too look forward to when men achieve equality with wimmin. At least we will then be able to have a sensible conversation with men

Magster Darling

How about a trip to Belgium next week, I've got to eat? We can book the tickets and hire the van in your name .

Love
Lew xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lew, much as I am tempted, I don't fancy spending the weekend in prison as Bonnie to your Clyde Plus, I am busy next weekend with guests . You're a big boy now, surely you can manage on your own?

Hi my Sweetness

I will have to manage on my own then, can I still book the ticket and van in your name? Don't bite on "Is this" Doug is only baiting you.

Lew...don't you dare book stuff in my name you reprobate
Thanks for the advice, I will not be biting despite the fact that he is lower than something that crawled out from under a stone. The trouble with evil is every time you feed it, it comes back for more. I've been very good since my outburst two months ago, ignoring everything, I must have slipped up today I shall now return to being my normal loving self
More ciggies is it next weekend?

Kris-Now thinks she's Magster again..and as Magster she seems to want to go to prison and be a Bonnie and Clyde double act.Once again the thought goes thro me head..does she think she's Bushy baby or Pattie Penny or even V MAX,Doug shakes his head and mutters"but you know how she like to make up people and talk to them just to make other people think she's in a conversation err what do they call it shizophrenia yeh thats it i wonder what happened when she was Bright Sunshine And Flowers?its funny she never uses that name now Hmmmmmmmmm i wonder".

Hi my little petal,the girl of my dreams

What a cracking weekend,went to the fancy dress as a ship's captain,even then I was outranked by an Admiral. Plenty merry making, wining and dining and not forgetting the hangover.Finished the weekend off in the Jalalabad having a Ruby Murry.What did you do my sweetness?

Lew de Crow-Gawd Kris,now you are scrapin' the bottom of the barrel gawdddddddddddddddd.

Hello you 2..just thought I'd drop by and see all was well!