h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Posting 3171:

So when you said in posting 3110 , you didn't mean my views, you meant me personally. And when you followed it up with , you actually meant the opposite. Fool that I am, I thought you just disagreed with my views on something or other....

I've been around here a few years now, and (until now) I've never read a *personal* attack on anyone, no matter what the provocation, in the FFFF. I have no idea what made you write what you did. As a newcomer, it's hard to see how you knew enough about me to justify saying anything at all.

My motto - who cares, wins - actually means something to me. I'm writing this to let you know how humiliated I feel. You have a right to know, or rather I think I have a right to let you know. There's nothing you can do now to put things right; no apology can unsay what you said.

Please think more carefully the next time you join a new forum. The FFFF has been my cyber-home for quite a while now. Thanks to you, it will never be quite so comfortable again.

Pattern-chaser

"Who cares, wins"

(lurking . . . lurking . . . )


Hi Pattern Chaser,

Was just lurking around Fnord's sight for a change as he is ALWAYS lurking around my stuff.

I also read those postings of Fnord's on FFFF to you and just thought he was being glib and perhaps a bit mouthy without thinking overly hard about what he was saying (hi Fnord!) I also saw that he apologised to you.

Knowing Fnord a bit, I honestly do not think this was meant as any sort of personal attack. Both of you, as far as I know, are quite sensitive people.

<>

I think this is quite sound advice. People should mind themselves a bit when they first join a new thread until they get a good feeling about what it is about.

Also, I agree that words are very powerful things and often people use them very carelessly. Because once something has been said it can never be taken back. Even if an apology is given and accepted the damage has been done.

My question, in this instance, is whether any damage was intended. And I really don't think Fnord would ever knowingly hurt or attempt to humiliate another person. This sort of behaviour just doesn't seem to be in his nature. Though he is a bit mouthy at times (you still there, Fnord?)

I can understand your response as I seem to be the 'oversensivity master' around here. Hey, remember how you helped me come back to FFFF after I'd felt slighted? And I trusted you and also Blatherskite and appreciated your efforts and caring and so went back.

Fnord made a silly comment that you - probably quite rightly - took badly. But it would be a terrible shame if this made you feel 'less at home' in your FFFF home.

>>There's nothing you can do now to put things right; no apology can unsay what you said.>>

I really think this was all just a misunderstanding.

Butting out now!

a to both of you. Hope you can work this out.

az

Gah. I didn't know that you were actually going to take it seriously - in fact I'm rather surprised a rational person like you would, considering that I don't know what you are like in real life, I have never met you, and I hadn't been talking for long enough to know you - and you *knew* all these things. I did mean your views, but (at the time) I held views to be connected vitally to the character.
I am currently uncomfortable around the quad-F now, and I will be lurking, you can be sure, I will however not post unless I see something which is ridiculous and absolutely demanding rectifying, you have my word on that. Try not to feel uncomfortable.
Possible for the last time to you -
Fnord out.
(Hi az!)

Maybe I'll unsubscribe.

Pattern-chaser,

Take it from someone who fnord has "lost respect" for, Fnord is ok and you should accept apoligies. I would find it hard to believe you have never said anything that you didn't mean. You must also realize that there is no way that fnord can attack you as a person, he can only really attack your ideas.

Ok, that soundede stupid, what i meant to say is that you should calm down and not be offended by someone you don't even know. For all you know fnord could be someones grandma. (sorry fnord)

Hi N1NJ4 and Azahar and thanks for the thoughts. Hi to you too, Fnord . I didn't post here to start a fight, or even to finish one. I just wanted to have my say, away from the public eye (as much as you can on a public website).

Because notes can't be removed from this forum, what's said is said forever, and can't be unsaid. An apology doesn't make them go away either. I'm not refusing to accept Fnord's apology, just observing that it can have no effect.

I wasn't expecting an apology - I was expecting a discussion, quite possibly an enjoyable one, about whatever of my views Fnord disagreed with. Instead, I got an apology for a personal attack which I hadn't seriously believed in.



And you'd be right. I've made many stupid mistakes in my life. I didn't post here to demand retribution or anything.

<...you should calm down and not be offended by someone you don't even know.>

I'm not offended, I'm hurt by a comment made thoughtlessly in a public community where my standing means a lot to me, if no-one else. Acquaintance - of lack of it - with the commentator makes no difference.



True, but everything I've ever written on h2g2 is available for anyone who wishes to seek it out.... [This is true for everyone, of course.]



Me too. That's what lead me to say something about how I feel. I am looking carefully at every response I get, from cyberfriends I've known for years, wondering how seriously I should take them, and what changes or moderations I must make to avoid future (personal) attacks.

I'm not looking for vengeance, or for sympathy. I'm just expressing how I feel. There's nothing anyone can do to change what is past; now we move into the future....

Pattern-chaser

"Who cares, wins"

What an oddly mercurial post, P-C.
"Please think more carefully the next time you join a new forum. The FFFF has been my cyber-home for quite a while now. Thanks to you, it will never be quite so comfortable again."
That was what you said at the beginning of this thread, and I apologised for whichever of my actions were necessary.
I must admit at this point however that I did not mean my apology in the sense which I said it, ie, I do not regret saying what I said, I merely regret the fact that you took offence.
If you came on here requesting a discussion of whichever views I was arguing about at the time, you certainly did not go about it the right way.
And finally -
let us not forget that this entire debacle occured simply because I stated that P-C needed challenging. That was all I said. That he took it seriously is something that will bring down my opinion of the average Hootooer quite a lot.

I came here to ask what I'd done to need 'challenging'. If you don't expect people to take you seriously, presumably you expect something else. I'm baffled.... Your opinions are, of course, your own affair.

Pattern-chaser

"Who cares, wins"

<>

There you go again Fnord.

(sigh)

az

Whatever, az.
P-C - if you wanted to know what needed challenging, why didn't you say so? If you actually *read* your first post, you'll see that you mentioned nothing of the sort.

*clutches head in frustrated agony!*

aaargh!


az

*Hands her an Asperin bottle*.
Take as many as you want, deary.