h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hidden Valley Ranch dressings have cocaine IN them.

They must. Why on earth would someone want to dump a whole glops on her plate after finishing her salad and sop them up with her fork and eventually her finger if they didn't??

I mean...why would she OR he want to do a thing like that?

It's a C-O-N ... spiricy!

Hmm. Perhaps we should put together a committee to investigate.

Huzzah!!!

I'll be the boss ok? You go get investigators and report directly to me. Obviously the Government is tied up in this thing pretty deep.

If anyone asks you what you're doing you say.....

um....

"Making a salad for a dinner party"

Whaddya think?

Why... that's so crazy... it just might work!

*wonders if anyone has ever said*

Why, that's just so crazy it'll never work!

But if you think THAT's crazy, do I have something for ya!!!

*massages chocolate pudding into her own hair*

Tapioca is crazier, but I like chocolate better.

So do I, but it leaves my hair all frizzy.

You can use butter if you want.

*holds out butter*

Thanks, but I LIKE my toast this way. Really.

*in allarm* You really HAVE gone under cover haven't you???

Silly, who ever heard of putting toast in HAIR?? *waggles chocolatty fingers* It just isn't done, you know..

Ohhhh, undercover work! Can I join?

I've always wanted to go undercover as a fork. Do you think it'd work?

Don't know. Cutlery's tricky.

I think a fork might be tough. Would you consider being a whisk?

I really think you should start off with something easier, JJJJJ, like a gravy boat, and work your way up to utensils.

*sigh*

If you insist. Can I be the salt shaker? That may be fun.

*sprinkles salt all over*

Oh no! I spilled the salt! Quick, everyone, toss some over your left shoulder!

*throws salt over left shoulder*

*throws salt over right shoulder*

*throws salt over left shoulder*

*shakes it all about*

's'what it's all about you know.