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a candle for Stu
azahar Started conversation Jul 14, 2003
A year ago today my friend Stu died. Brain tumour. I met him because he was the boyfriend of my dear friend Lizzie who lives in Bristol. He was in his late-thirties when he died. It has been the third time the tumour had come back.
A few months before, Lizzie and Stu had come to visit me - he had just got over chemo treatment for the second time. We had a lovely visit. I was both happy and sad for them. They were both so desperately in love. They were both so brave. They were both so frightened.
A year ago today I was in a bookshop and suddenly felt Stu standing beside me. The three of us had been in the same bookshop, but it wasn't like a memory. Because Lizzie wasn't there. It was just Stu. When I got home I found the message from Lizzie that Stu had died earlier that morning.
Lizzie asked me to light a candle for Stu today, on the anniversary of his death. I thought - well, okay. Didn't realise how much seeing that tiny flame burning would make me cry all day long.
I wish you all could have known Stu. He was so lovely. He son was four when he died - Lizzie now stays in touch with Stu's family and his ex-wife because she also loves little Max. They planted a tree for Stu up on the downs. You see, they all want to keep Stu alive within them so much. It is a very happy-sad feeling.
So today is a sad-happy day. I wouldn't know this sadness if I'd never had the very good fortune to have met Stu. So I am happy for the sadness, if that makes sense.
A year ago today I sat at home having a smoke and a drink with ole Stu, remembering how much he liked to roll his own. Today it's just a glass of wine.
Sorry mate, have given up the cigs, myself. Though I'm sure you won't mind. Cheers, darling. I still miss you.
a candle for Stu
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jul 14, 2003
a candle for Stu
dancinglady (Life's truest happiness is found in the friendships we make along the way) Posted Jul 14, 2003
... and for all those who went before their time
dl
a candle for Stu
azahar Posted Jul 15, 2003
thanks . . . I was a bit embarrassed after I wrote this (written and posted in five minutes without thinking). But anyhow. It was just about how I felt at the time.
az
a candle for Stu
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jul 15, 2003
Why be embarrassed about it? An honest emotional response to something. More power to your elbow, I say. 
a candle for Stu
Matholwch - Brythonic Tribal Polytheist Posted Jul 16, 2003
Speak of me and do not cry,
Say only truth,
No need to lie,
Tell them how I made you sad,
Made you laugh,
And drove you mad.
Stupid things that I would do,
And unspoken things,
Just for you.
Speak proudly of the things I did,
The heights I reached,
And the mistakes I hid.
Speak truly of me and you will find,
I have not gone,
Nor left you behind.
I am here in your memory,
Always with you,
So speak of me.
Blessings,
Matholwch /|\.
a candle for Stu
azahar Posted Jul 16, 2003
thanks Math - that is truly lovely.
think I will send it to Lizzie, if you don't mind.
az
a candle for Stu
Matholwch - Brythonic Tribal Polytheist Posted Jul 16, 2003
Az,
as always you are welcome, please send it on if it helps at all.
Well off on me hols,
See you Monday,
Matholwch /|\.
a candle for Stu
a girl called Ben Posted Jul 17, 2003
One of the things which keeps me coming back to this site again and again is that here we talk about things we do not necessarily feel comfortable talking about in that most illusory of places - real life.
A for Lizzie, and another for Stu.
Life is - as they say - a bitch.
B
a candle for Stu
sunny Posted Jul 23, 2003
sunny
( Titania's 'lighting a candle for...' : F57090?thread=85665&latest=1 )
Key: Complain about this post
a candle for Stu
- 1: azahar (Jul 14, 2003)
- 2: Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like (Jul 14, 2003)
- 3: dancinglady (Life's truest happiness is found in the friendships we make along the way) (Jul 14, 2003)
- 4: azahar (Jul 15, 2003)
- 5: Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like (Jul 15, 2003)
- 6: Matholwch - Brythonic Tribal Polytheist (Jul 16, 2003)
- 7: azahar (Jul 16, 2003)
- 8: Matholwch - Brythonic Tribal Polytheist (Jul 16, 2003)
- 9: a girl called Ben (Jul 17, 2003)
- 10: sunny (Jul 23, 2003)
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