h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

POW and BIFF me, will you?

*points up at a massive teeter-totter raised raised high above the city*

From one end of that massive teeter-totter raised raised high above the city hangs the world's entire stock of oreos, suspended above a vast vat of sulphuric acid. On the other, much more distant, end sits a bubster-sized box. There are also some counterweights involved, but I digress.

The ground beneath the box is a field of pointy poking sticks and cocktail umbrellas.

Observe, if you will, a small wiener dog chewing on the slender, but tasty, rope from which the oreos hang.

Mwah&Ha!

*thinks for a moment*

*puts on her super-speedy shoes*

*races undernieth the supply of oreos and arranges an enormous net*

*throws a bone to the wiener dog that is much tastier than the rope*

*races along the teeter-totter, past the axis, and hauls the box up as fast as possible. Just as the end of the teeter-totter touches the acid, she jumps far and away and rolls, protecting the content of the box with her body*

*the oreos land raise high into the air, well protected, and then fall down into the net as she jumps. The wiener dog also falls into the net, clutching despirately to the bone*

Ha HA!!! *opens the box*

*smiles to self*

Little do they know that neither of these boxes contain the real bubster. I Keeednapped him and hid him somewhere!!

(They always thought i was just a silly person...)

Mwa&Ha!!!

*wonders vaguely whether The Anecdoter and The Princess of the Univers are actually one and the same, having never seen them both in the same bub-room at the same bub-time (on the same bub-channel)...*

*looks shocked*

I do believe that its very rude to ponder out loud. I thought I was pretty good, making you would-be kidnapper think you are still there and getting the kidnapper to trick your would-be rescurer.

Yes, I thought it was a brilliant move on your part, but I wonder if you could let me out of the box now...

*continues to be blue*

let you out of the box?? Why? *Peers inside the glass hole* Ohhh. Blue right...
*pokes a few holes in the top*

I won't let you out until one of your would-be resucers finds out where you are.

*gasps in huge lungfuls of air*

Oh, well, if I'm going to be here a while, I might have to get down to some serious redecoration. This box is quite - what's the word? - boxy. And drab.

*phones his -ahem- personal decorator, Madam Krissy's house of chintz*

D'Oh!

How did *I* end up in the box? And who's this person on the other end of the phone. Don't tell me that wily bubster has escaped my clutches - and yours - with another of his clever switcheroo manoeuvres.

Curse you bubster, you wily bubster, you!

Hehehe.

*wanders off to find Krissy, his amazing hypnotic skills having saved the day and - however briefly - imprisoned the Anecdoter*

*whistles the Mission Impossible music, except for the really tricky bit*

*stumbles in, exhausted and clutching the wiener dog*

Oh, I'm just a terrible, terrible superhero. It's been days and days and I'm sure bubster's dead by now and the only things I've been able to save are thousands of fake, styrafoam oreos and this! *brandishes wiener dog enthusiastically*

Besides, these heels hurt. *sits about dejectedly on a chair*

*begins to invision a proper sort of cape for the wiener dog*

*cheers up a bit* Perhaps now the sidekick has a sidekick.

*Procurs a cape for the wiener dog*

Being evil is no fun, specially when your up against some on ewith hypnotic powers (or maybe its just that hes so cute, as you once suggested..) but could I become the opffical "lets go after that villian really really fast " driver???