h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Greetings mear fleshlings.
After accessing your laughable 'news network' I have discovered they you 'elect' good looking idiots to rule over you.

Sorry for the Sci-fi entrance but that does sum up politics in out western world (which is surprising better that the other in the fact you get a choice in the nice looking idiot). However we have run into a rut in our politic system. It seems we really only have 3 choices (as apossed to the 2 americans get) in which to choice the less of evils and then spend the whole of their term moaning about the choice.

I like alot of people don't both voting, I think the total percentage for the last general elections was about 40% (can't be arsed to research so that number is a guess) and these is a sign that the common man, if there is such a thing has lost touch. Come election day I had my voting in form but didn't even know the canidates names or which partys were running but no one came to my door about it and no one posted a nice newsletter with their campaign pledges on it. So I was forced to vote purely on the preformance of the part as a whole, screw that!

* Labour are targeting everything to death and have blinders on the damage that privation has done to everything in public transport and refuse to fix anything saying they go more money in it as ever before (where is comes from don't ask me)
* Conservatives as laughable and aren't run by a leader by a bad look-a-like to the last leader, bring back thatcher, she may have screwed the country up the wrong way but at least the world took us seriously.
* The Liberal Democrates sit on the middle bad mouthing both parties (not a terribly difficult job) and showing no really iniative.

The whole thing has got even more disturbing as Labour are more right that ever before and the Tories more left, soon all three party will mearge into a blur and we'll have to blow parliment up to get it all restarted.

My answer to all this is simple... VOTE FOR ME!
(Neil Shaw of the newly Formed 'Realist' party)
Now I don't imagin that this will get anyones vote so I'll manage one better than my local 'representives' managed and tell you what I plan to do in power.
* Scrap current plans to make universitys more open but instead leave them as they are is you want the dept thats your choice not my fault. Instead I will re-open techinal colleges so that peoiple can train to be builders, plumbers and electricans, something we will need in the future (see below)
* Re-nationalise the rail system and model the whole thing on how the europiens do it. So there will be new carriages, better service and cheaper prices with no profit stealing fat cats.
* Despite what people say the NH is fine as it is, remove chock hold targets, recruit more doctors and nurses (from approad if nessuary) and pay them a fair wieght.
* Tell the fire fighter where to stick it (John Prescott finally did something right in his whole life, what a shock) but I would done it alot faster.
* Remove all plans to enter the Euro as its a doomed system and totally wrong for the british econemy.
* Build more houses and if all I can get is flood plain land then build there too but invest money in flood defences and open a government run insurare so that people who live there can get good cover. This will be easy with the increased number of skill labours in the country.(see above)
* Close our borders like the australians (were an island too god-damnit) as we have our own probelms without getting more than everyone elses fair share too. Sneak into my country and I will put you on the first plane with the worst service and have these plane running daily and use a campaign in foregen countries to tell possible people moving it that this is their fate.
* Remove spin doctors from the leadership, If I screw up I'll admit it as its only human.
* Tell the americans what we REALLY think of them about war, oil, politics, enviroment, etc...
* Get people to recyle (making it a law if nessury) to reduce our total waste.
* Go over the law with a fine tooth comb and get the whole thing working again as reulings and sentinces have increasly puzzled people.
Increase number of prisons and don't be afriad to put people in them, in fairness the voilent crimnal shouldn't mix with the non-voilent ones and the whole actual prison system to be heavily invested in a reformed.

That all I can think at the moment but thats enough reform to keep me busy for my 4 years of power and I think the british public will vote after I get all this done.

One thing I always found puzzling about privatisation:
Whenever a government controlled service was privatised, that should free up more budget. And yet taxes go up, so we have to pay extra for transport, postal, water etc AND pay more taxes AND we get hit by more competitive commercialism.
Anyway I'll vote for you if you can reduce the number of cars on the road. I suggest culling people on something prejudgemental such as stupidity or interests and hobbies.