h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

its mothers day tommorow my mum dies of breast cancer two years ago. and i loved the woman but i cant forgive her and im so angry.

she let my stepdad molest me for years and he beat her and me up and on the day she died HE stole all our stuff and left..he took everything i dont even have a picture of my mum/

i cant face going to the crematorium and i told my dad that i couldnt do it he went mad and hit me..my father hit me i have bruises all over my right side of my face

Things are such a mess im sorry for bitching but writing things down makes more sense than thinking it...

Sorry for not saying anything more meaningful than just that I read the above and was... shocked...
And your father hit you just now??

30mins ago.i was supposed to be going out tonight with mates but instead i cant hide the bruises i told my friends i fell.

im so ashamed!
and sometimes speaking to people that dont "no" me helps..coz they cant judge as they dont know me...

i feel like such an outcast my brothers dont know what was happening to me they think im just being a cow.

dont apologise Gemma..n youre bitching.It does do you good to let things out I cant begin to imagine how you must feel..losing your mum must be bad enough without their having been ill feeling.Its hard to understand how someone who claims to ,and is supposed to love and protect you can let someone else hurt you, but unfortunately it does happen. I remember clearly y mum sitting watching the telly with her back to us not batting an eye while my dad kicked seven shades of shit out of me ! she claims no to remeembr the incident..just like she claimed not to have heard or seen anything at the time..it was mostly mental abuse (and the occasional beating ..even knocking me acrss the room when i was pregnant)with my dad,(ie being old every day what an unlovable,ugly useless waste i was).. ut i still got the blame for it al.mmum even accused me of trying to split them up n one of the many occasions i tried to talk to her,ask for her help n support! ..i was pushed f chiild shrink to chid shrink when all i needed was the love of my parents!..ive not forgiven it..but i have tried to understand why my mum let it all happen..n the answer is i guess she didnt know what to do!i think when we really love someone (she still wont talk abut it now..gets angry at me n just says she loves him),no matter how bad thngs are (cos he could be just a abusive to her)part of us tries to block it out..hoping all be ok as it were..it has to be ok cos we love them.n it can be hard to believe someone we love can be that way. but thats no excuse..thers nen excuse.TRy to forgive your mum..in your own time,dont let anyone rush you..even if its just sl that the anger/resentment doesnt destroy you.As for your dad..hes feeling pretty strongly at the momen too..we can become selfish when theres strong emotions involed...give himm time.He shouldntve hit you though im always around somewhere (even if iys just emal) if you need someone to moan at

tthat was meant to say youre not bitching ..damn my typing skils

I just dont wanna be that scared little girl i was..i run and hide all the time.
she shoulda helped me i was her little girl and he was just her boyfriend worse thing is i went to the police and they coldn't do anything about it because he denied it.
Thats Hun.
nice to see i dont have the only broken home

its sad how common it is .
you dont wanna be the scared little girl anymore..n you dont have to be gemma!Just be you..n you must be pretty strong not to have cracked up entirely!..it probably doesnt feel that way right now though.whatever youre feeling..try to let it go.A good way is to write it down..try writing your mum a lettter (make sure youll have time n space alone first)..it might be hard at first..but thee feelings will come soon enough..write all downn.shout ,cry ,scream ,break something..do whatever you need too do..but let it out ..all of it..n then burn the letter, it might sound odd but really does work.

i'll give it ago (can you be rude in it?)

its about letting YOUR feelings out gemma whatever they are..so yes.. you might be surprised at some of what comes out

good idea i just wrote aload of stuff down and got really mad that i went in the garden and set a huge fire and burnt the letter, my things from child hood and stuff from my dad... it was pretty

do you feel any better for it though?

my neighbour called the police so give me 30mins till i give the "bin on fire" excuse lmao

im feeling a bit better still abiy p***ed but better..have to wear pnk blusher tommorow YaY!!

I@m sorry about your mum Gemma, and if you don't feel up to going for one reason or another don't go...and no one should treat you as you have been

see my family have always been "close" when my mum and dad split (when i was 8) they stayed friends. i used to sit in school with bruises and cuts and no one noticed not even my dad.

they think if they dont except it,it couldn't have happened.so when i told my dad that he kinnda went mad.

its weird coz theres loads i needed to say to my mum and i'll never have the chance i wish i told her how proud i was of her and how much i loved her despite what was happening (theres a moral there)

I think the moral is you've only got one mum and you've got to make the most of them while they're around

yeah she was only 31 when she died she had such a horrible time and i made things worse i didnt even go to the funeral!

everyone deals with grief in different ways Gems, sounds corny to say it but I'm sure she knows you love her and miss her

yeah...i just wish i had 5 mins to make it right thats all.

going to try and get on with my dad coz he's ill and going in for a operation in may and he's my only family except my 2 brothers

If only it was as easy as to click together a pair of ruby slippers or rub a lamp or click your fingers to get that time back

You should, you know what it's like to lose a parent and even if you arent as closed to your dad as your mum you should make the most of him while he's there

i do have red sparkly shoes lmao...