h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OK I've had a good holiday. Fair enough I've even enjoyed two evenings of good company since my return. The washing is done, the case unpacked and repacked, the garden still beckons. The house is lightly blown over and the dust has yet to resettle, hair washed and dried, clean underwear discovered; so why should I complain?

Why don't cars start?

It isn't even making that little 'chunk' noise to let me know that there is a life force, albeit alien, buried beneath its bonnet.

That's another thing. I thought bonnets were hats.

I now have to wait for a man with a van and some odd objects apparantly called 'tools'to come and breathe life into this four wheeled creature from another planet.

No doubt if I don't sit in the wretched thing, he will drive past and say it was a hoax call, I believe men with vans and strange objects called tools do that when their ban collie maun days are interrupted.

So I cannot even mow the meadow, and am only afforded this pleasure as I can spy any odd movement outside if I contort by body and tap with one finger.

Keep the chardonnay on hold! I will be there.

I do hope you get away to see Ben before the Chardonnay warms!

I'm testing out a Rosemount Estate chardy currently, just to make sure it's up to standard, of course

Another day, another dolour!

Another time, my pet. I am an evil-minded and evil-hearted bitch from hell at the moment, and best left snarling and snapping in my own kennel. Once I have sorted out the stepson and his father, I will be able to be myself again.

We will see each other soon, I promise.

B