h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

'I just can't get you out of my head' even though you belong in another thread.

'I just don't know where I went wrong' must surely be a line from a different song.

'You're just like children mother. I have never known two grown ups behave like ten year olds the way you two do.'

But I know it's changed and can never be the same again.

'Yesterday all our troubles seemed so far away'.

'Actually no! Actually!'

What happened? When did the rope that bonded us into long forgotten childhood break?

Did Peter Pan finally realise he had to leave Never Never land, the real land even? Or did Wendy grow up first? I think not, Wendy still has so much growing up to do.

The egg timer sits on the dresser like a complacent Rumpold, friend of the SYWM.

'You're getting confused' he said 'This is not reality this is another world. A world that has no answers… just more questions.

'I'm so tired of questions' she said. 'All I crave is a signpost. I don't care which road I take, but a signpost, no matter how confusing, would limit the choices and help me focus.'

'That’s just student talk, you two will be friends forever.'

I wish so, but I think not. One of us is scared of dying; the other too scared to live.

'It's my death and I will direct it!' The shrill voice that once afforded her the greatest comfort screams for the succour that her numbness cannot provide. She weeps.

They are apart. Their time is gone. The friendship once so special is now clouded by the agendas of others. They vye for positions in the orchestrated space that has become their lives, a space they cannot comfortably share.

'Oh for goodness sake it will be fine by Friday, you two never argue through to the weekend.'

I think it won't be and I cry. I know this time our book is closed.

Here & hoping for you.



Terri

C'est la vie but bad times,
take care
boots

Would it help to talk? I'm good at listening to bad times, being somewhat of an expert (self taught)

Thank you Terri, I don't know. I have talked with many friends this evening and, as friends do, they say it is not my problem, which doesn't help. I know I am his problem or at least a part of it. He is dying and we became a big part of each other's lives when Ravager died. he likes to take care, and did most beautifully. Now is his dying time and I cloud it. I don't know where I stand. He has many other compartmentalised lives and friends, which I don't fit in to, which is fine. There is one life that overlaps and that is difficult...for him not me. But it it is his death and I have to respect the way he chooses to live it. It hurts hugely as I miss him so much, but if that is the way he has to deal with it, I have no choice. It just makes getting up in the mornings not so much fun. I miss the early morning phone calls, and the rows!

hopefully we will one day row again.
take care and thank you for caring
boots

Well, it IS your problem, because you care! On another thread we were talking about this, about the fact that if we choose not to love, because we have felt the absolute agony of loss, a huge part of what makes us human disappears; Some of us just don't have any choice, we HAVE to love.

I am pretty sure you are one of those (so am i) It doesn't make for an easy life, but possibly a rewarding one.

Any time you want to talk, please do. i too have compartments, one of which is my journal space, the "Bird's Eye" thread, where all sorts of & happen, do say hello or just lurk if you want...it's distracting if nothing else!

take care.

zdt

I was on my way to bed last night and didn't have the brain power to respond more fully, boots.

I know you have close friends to support you, but even so we still feel alone when going through traumatic events.

Losing a close friend is very, very hard, more so in this period of your life, particularly as it sounds as if you are having to stand back. I know it hurts, but you are doing the right thing in respecting your friend's wishes, which probably doesn't help you at the moment.

I am thinking of you.

from me too Boots

another for the pile

N

from me to you.

Thinking of you

Fatty

Thanks you lovely people.
I am taking this out of my journal now. Perhaps in the future the writing will merit its recall.
It is surely another footfall in the journey of life, an especially sad arc in my circle of time.
You're right Caerwynn, I have to step back. Today was better than yesterday, tomorrow will hopefully be better than today.
He came to say hello just now. He knew he had to. We can never argue through the weekend. But it is different now. The children we were can never be again.