h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My arrival in this galaxy was the result of some over enthusiastic foreplay on the part of a rather stupid and egotistical Great Dane (my father) with an equally intellectually challenged but overly trusting golden Labrador. This unlikely and from my mother's perspective, innocent, coupling was noticed by a 'happened to be passing' creative and somewhat sadistic alien, who thought it might be fun to expand the event to a threesome. The genetic consequence, myself, is nothing short of disaster. My passport photo is a bad likeness and my nursery school reports do not bode well for my future.

The remnants of my paternal ego genes are littered about the bit of the universe surrounding my home…'the kennel'… which is where, more often than not, I can be found, licking my paws whilst chewing the most comforting corner of the security blanket towel which was my mother's last legacy.

Were I not handicapped in terms of both size and acoustics... my bark and bulk being far more suited to another, I could possibly lay low for a few million years until this galaxy has moved on.
Alas inquisitiveness, stupidity, and a canines natural need to be loved and petted will be my undoing...once the ball has been thrown, I have to run.

What a marvellous genealogy dear useless hound!

It seems to me however that you need to go to a dog psychologist as you have a very low image of yourself.
I love both Great Danes and Golden Labradors. The combination should be spectacular!. If your Great Dane ancestor had been a Harlequin one that might have complicated the issue (incidentally I loved all your puns!)

Great to meet you.
Have a barking good day

AR1

Thank you kindly and ditto (the meeting you bit). Best dogs in the world those two, the only one's we have ever had. The Dane was the stupidest creature I have ever met but so adorable. Asterix was his name...caused great mirth when unsuspecting visiors were introduced...they expected him to be somewhat smaller! Labradors? What can one say?...just the best! So loving and sloppy and cuddly and loyal ...known as The Fonz ...ahh those were the days! Now I just have a cat from hell...but it's quite cute in a feral kind of way.
take care and good to be properly introduced.
boots (sticking plasters on the cat scratches.)