h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, I'm up amongst the first people to spoil something. What an honour!

Yeah this idea isn't coming along as popularly as the sixth book idea is. Not sure why that is but I'm not complaining.

I think it's because inherently, humans hate spoilers.

Actually it's my experience that half of the human race dislikes spoilers and the other half just love spoiling them. Unfortunately it seems the half that loves spoiling things for the other half are still in Usenet at the alt.movies newsgroups.

Speaking of spoilers, have you seen The Matrix yet?

Yes, in fact I have. Why do you ask?

Well it was released here last Friday. I went to see the preview on Thursday night. It was absolutely brilliant. I was thinking we might be able to slip some spoilers in somewhere. What did you think of it?

Well I've seen Matrix a few times now, so I apparently enjoy it enough to actually pay money to see it in a theater. Not a normal thing for me compared to the number of movies I wait to see on video.

Keanu Reeves is perfect in the role of Neo. Not because he's talented: he's not really. Reeves is a clean slate and considering all the computer generated special effects they needed something vanilla to pose in front of the bluescreens so they could make him look good. One scene about the middle, after he takes the red pill and Morpheus pulls him out of the pod, just before he falls to the ground and throws up, you almost see Reeves actually act believably. It's really a marvelous thing and almost as interesting as all the rest of the special effects.

The look and sound of the movie is simply amazing. It's a great roller coaster ride. The fight between Morpheus and Neo where they offer a tribute to practically every karate movie ever created is a serene treat. I love it when Reeves makes those silly drunken fighting poses as if we're supposed to take him seriously. This is classic stuff!

I'd love to see Mike, Crow and Tom Servo MSTify this movie. I think there's a lot of opportunity for it.

My favorites from this movie though are Trinity and Switch. Great eye candy! We didn't see enough of Switch in that almost-see-through off-white shirt though. Some might think that woman has a face like a horse, but I'd do her.

As for a SPOILER for this movie? Was I the only one who could tell that Reeves was gonna be "the one" by the end of the first reel?

NEO=ONE Do the math. *smirk*

Oooo, very smart! I'm impressed.
I have, as yet, seen it only once. I agree with most of your points (apart from Switch (although you don't look at the mantlepiece while you're stoking the fire)).
Keanu Reeves was perfect for this role for one very good reason: he knows how to act DUMB. He always seems to have that look of incredulity which made him a star in Bill and Ted, but made Speed and Point Break look like a chore for him.
One of the things which that film is VERY good at doing is making you feel as if you could take on the world right now. I don't really know how they managed this, but the whole film inflated my ego, and I came out with inflated chest, ready to kick ass.
However, one point mystifies me. How on earth did the people who were once inside the matrix know that there was something on the outside and how did they actually find this from computers inside the matrix (as the computers inside were obviously going to be controlled by the Agents)?
I'm probably not looking for an answer to this one, but hey, it makes you think.

I know you didn't want an answer perhaps but I'm giving one anyway. Purely speculation, as there isn't much to go on regarding the past of the story. They probably didn't want to go into detail about it because 1) they didn't want to have too many noticable holes in the idea and 2) prequels will no doubt become very popular now that George Lucas has successfully pulled it off.

If they ever went back to explain HOW the Matrix was created, I'd imagine there were humans who avoided capture by the sentinels in the first place, and never were placed into the matrix. Being resourceful humans, they would have been the ones to found Zion near the core of the Earth and then work towards pulling as many people as they could out of the machines' clutches.

No doubt the first few times they made several mistakes and repeatedly eluded capture just barely, and as they strived to save the human race they learned a lot and eventually got as good at it as we saw when they pulled Neo out. By the time the movie Matrix happens, removing individuals from the Matrix became a routine procedure, and Morpheus talked about 'rules' they had, like they learned not to pull people from the Matrix after they reached a certain age. Rules generally evolve from mistakes of the past. They didn't want to repeat errors that they had made before. Again just speculation, but they would have had to have several failures in order to learn the need for such rules.

They probably started by just ripping the cords out of people until they realized that just kills them or turns them into vegetables since their consciousness was still inside. So they learned to tap into the matrix and using subterfuge they slowly infiltrated and encouraged certain individuals to choose to escape.

Now Morpheus also mentioned that early on in the inception of the matrix, there was one person who could change the matrix into whatever he wanted. This may have been a person who had not been captured, but after Zion was made, opted to go in himself, being the first to infiltrate the matrix. He could have been the first "one" but somewhere he failed to achieve what Neo achieved -- complete control over the machines' invented reality.

Others followed, but none achieved the first 'One's potential. The Oracle may have known how to do it, but was too old by this time to pull it off the way it needed to be done. Over a period of time the free humans built up a rebellion powerful enough to concern the machines, which is where the agents came in.

That one agent indicated that he used to exist outside the matrix, but when the human rebellion became a threat, he was drafted into fighting them, and he tired of having to be inside the actual matrix itself. He talked about how the smell of humans disgusted him. This was while he was interrogating Morpheus; that scene where he ran his hand over Morpheus' bald head distastefully, to point out how gross he found human sweat.

This indicated to me there was some other place that the machines preferred, and only entered the matrix out of necessity, to stop the human rebellion.

He also explained that the first matrix was designed to give human beings a heaven-like existence and gave them the illusion that their fantasies could be fulfilled. However, human beings weren't willing to accept this reality, and "entire crops were lost." Crops being the operative term from the Agent to indicat human casualties.

So the humans were not always considered a threat. They were probably a threat at first until the machines took over. Morpheus said he was not sure what happened, but he did know it was human beings "who scorched the sky." Humans realized that the only way to save humans was to kill the primary power source that makes all other power sources possible: solar power.

What they didn't bank on was that the machines would start capturing human beings and use them as batteries. From that point on the machines probably didn't have any trouble at all. And if they didn't catch all the humans it wasn't a big deal. The machines would naturally surmise that the humans they couldn't capture would eventually die of starvation anyway.

A period of time most probably went by when the machines thought they had it all under control. They may have been oblivious to the fact that some humans escaped capture. Or like I said, the escaped humans would not have been seen as a threat.

That time when they lost all those "crops" may have been the first attempt by the rebellion to stop them. That may have been the time of the first "One" that Morpheus indicated. And no doubt that was a time when the Oracle was a much younger and more formidable of a woman against the machines. I think there's a whole other movie there that would be very interesting to see.

Perhaps what makes Matrix so good of a movie is the fact the story does go beyond what we see, and exploring it indicates, at least to me, that there ARE no holes in its inception. It holds up rather well under scrutiny.

Cor blimey, guvnor. You've been giving it a lot of thought, haven't you?
In the same vein, one thing I can't see is a sequel. It wouldn't work, don't you think?
Still, I'm getting quite annoyed with the cinema here. It just doesn't have the film on when I want to go and see it (again). Ah well.
Do you think the original "One" could have been captured by the AI, his memory input into the AI and therefore, by some twisted logic, the AI becomes Neo's father. I suppose it's been done before

I think it would be interesting if the original One was successfully beaten and his consciousness merged with the machines. This would help to explain why the Agents are so difficult to take out. They're using the original One's strategic initiatives.

I agree that a sequel would not work. There's nowhere to go with it. Neo is effectively a god inside VR, and even if the humans won and defeated the machines irrevocably, there's no prize except for freedom. There's nothing left of the world worth going back to.

A prequel would be the only real way for them to cash in one more time on the success of Matrix.

Do you think the creators of The Matrix would be interested in y/our ideas? We could make millions!

Holds up rather well, yes, but my main problem involves an underlying premise
of this entire world setting thingy. No doubt with multiple viewings, I'll get better
and better able to suspend my disbelief here, but: Why would humans need
this brain activity to generate the electricity for the machines? Now, I'm far
from a biologist, but it seems to me that anything living & plugged in would do
nicely, whether happily thinking or nigh-vegetable?
And, of course, there is always the "why humans and not all other lifeforms"
issue. Something compacter (there are many animals such) would seem to
me to be a better choice, as then the size (species) of machine with personal
batteries could vary a bit. Organic bacteria or insects of some kind could
pave the way for small robots indeed.
Great film though, once I get beyond this fundamental thing.

I believe it has something to do with the creation of this Artificial Intelligence. The AI were so disgusted with the humans they needed to drive them into servitude. It's like the Agent said "Humans are a Virus". You can't stop viruses, but you can protect against them. The other lifeforms were doing no harm, so the AI didn't bare a grudge. And, after the humans "Scorched the skies" there would have been no lifeforms left. The great thing about a human is their adaptability.

Has that cleared it up at all?

The guys who originally wrote Matrix would probably be as interested in my ideas for their stuff as Douglas Adams would be interested in actually using QuadBee for his own sixth book. Sorry to burst your bubble about the millions of dollars, but I don't cop to such aspiring fantasies.

I just like the mental challenge of expanding already established plotlines. I'm not interested in cashing in on them.

then there's the fact they said Zion was built "near the earth's core, where it's still warm." How could they have possibly dug that far? And what do they do when the earth's core starts to cool? They can't stay down there indefinitely y'know.

At times like this I like to quote Joel Hodgson from MST3K: "repeat to yourself it's just a show. You should really just relax."

I'm a bit late, aren't I? Yet I have something to say, or ask, really- is there a limited amount of time for spoilers to really be spoilers? I mean, if I say- "In Phenomenon John Travolta dies" is that *really* a spoiler? I mean everyone has either seen that movie, forgotten about that movie, or are willing to just check it out or record it, which mean you just want to see a movie, not particularly that one...
I think there definitely is a time limit on movie spoilers.

On the other hand, joke spoilers are pretty ageless...

I don't think movie spoilers have a time limit. Sure, by now pretty much everyone knows who Luke's father is, but there are a few people here and there who don't know this kind of stuff. I still haven't seen Forest Gump.....

More importantly, spoilers have a "pleasant memory" feeling to them. For instance:

ME: Remember how you were having a burger at Burger King, and I told you that Darth Vader was Luke's father, and you were so shocked that you dropped your burger on the floor, and that poor guy slipped on the burger and fell through the window?

YOU: Oh yeah.

Me: Good times, huh?

Hehe that did bring a chuckle... but I don't know, it just doesn't seem as exciting when the movie has hit video, and some movies are just spoil-less... like "So eventually, the Spice Girls DO get to the show on time, despite the birth of their shared godchild". The true response wouldn't be "Hey, I'm angry, I really wanted to watch that movie", it would have been more like "Thanks for bouncing more unheard words off of my forehead". Maybe there is a sort of corrolation between the quality of the movie and the quality of the spoilers?