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But you still with me in my dreams

Post 1

Heimdall (who used to be Spread Your Wings)

December 22d, 2003
really depressed

I’m still sitting here, it’s a torture to stay at home all day long… not talking to anyone. All I want right now is to see my friends. I’m going insane, listening to “Here Without You” over and over and over again… just because, well because of him. Tears are coming from my eyes and there is nothing around here that could possibly stop them. Is this supposed to be funny or something? Where are the good days, where is my freedom? I know what’s wrong! I want to be needed, that’s it. If there was at least one person who truly needed me, I would be happy. Right now all my friends are gone home, and no one wrote to me (or called me)…. This is sad… I hate this stupid place =(

Also during the vocation I really need to get rid of thoughts about Gary. I feel as if it’s going to take a hell lot of nerves. I haven’t been in love since Grig (and that was the only time, 5 years ago December 17th). What do you do when you can not control yourself… I’m afraid that he’ll find out (actually I think they all know), but it least it’s not proven. But if he will, I wouldn’t be able to be his friend.

I wish I had no feelings at all. Then the life would be so much easier, I wouldn’t have to fight with myself, and deal with things I can’t understand.


But you still with me in my dreams

Post 2

Heimdall (who used to be Spread Your Wings)

hm, there is a mistake in the "subject"... i don't want to change the date though.... so yeah.


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