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What If?

Post 1

Heimdall (who used to be Spread Your Wings)

November 2d, 2003

What if you find out that your only hope is gone
Lost forever in a word, written on a piece of paper
Carved in blood by a hand so strong and insidious

I don’t really know what to think any more. There are some assumptions I was forced to make, now they haunt my mind, hope it’s not true. Right now I’ll keep quiet, because it would be so bad if I’m wrong (although it’s even worse if I’m right). Today was a rather strange day I would say. First of all I went running in the morning and it started raining… I didn’t care (as usual). I love rain, as long as it’s not cold. I ran and ran and ran….. ah, it seems that I’m desperately trying to run from my problems but they keep chasing me. Then I went to get breakfast/lunch, where I’ve met Gary… we talked about books for quite a while… *sights* The rest of the afternoon we (Cathy, Gary, Ed and I) spent playing on the elementary school playground, which was oodles of fun, until certain people came. It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s because I felt really pressed down… I feel as if I’m invisible…

“Isn’t there for every writer a particular thing of that sort, the thing that most makes him apply himself, the thing without the effort to achieve which he wouldn’t write at all, the very passion of his passion, the part of the business in which, for him, the flame of art burns most intensely?” from a figure in the carpet


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