h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If, of course, we can't get a Lottery Grant as Flipwinky suggested, and nobody co-operates, we could all become sort of Robin Hood-type people, you know, rob stuff from the rich, and give it to the stuff-deprived. We'd have to have a theme tune though. You can't just ride around the country heroically redistributing stuff without a theme tune playing in the background. Anybody got any suggestions for one?

im scared of whats down the back of my sofa. when you have to put your hand down there to get the remote control back it feels all fluffy and not nice. there is some stuff that i dont want to know about.

Don't talk to me about what's down behind the backs of sofas. I had to do a documentary for the BBC once, and I decided to do it about what's behind my sofa. Well, when I poked my head down there, I was sucked into a Beatlesque cartoon land, where danger lurked in every corner. I had five hours to get out before the portal back to my front-room closed, and I only just made it out alive, but I filmed it, every second of my terrifying and paranormal ordeal. When I got back out, I went to watch the video, for which I would undoubtedly be paid stunningly large amounts of money for by the BBC, and I realised I'd forgotten to take the lens cap off. D'oh!

Tough break Yak!

I think there is a fundamental stuff management crisis, which stems from too many superfluous names for stuff. This leads to a falsely proprietorial relationship to stuff.

If people would only accept the simple fact that all they own is stuff, they would see that there is already more than enough stuff for everyone.

I think that the reason that a Ministry of Stuff has not been set up yet is because the government want to keep a tight reign on stuff. Think about it - stuff starts happening, people enjoy stuff, stuff propogates, people take time off work to do stuff and there you have it. Economic decline due to stuff. The government are just using it as a form of control over the masses. The stuff is out there!

Hey yeah, the government are, er, communist bastards, or something. Incidentally, due to another incident behind my sofa, my name has changed from YÄK!™ to ¶.

Hey, I wondered wht was happening there. Every entry is now that symbol. Are you going to change your name to Prince, or are you happy with the artist known as symbol, formerly known as Yak. (I think this is a plot by those Communist oppressors to confuse the general populace about stuff).

Whenever you change your name (or have your name changed), everything you've written on this site changes to your new name. However, I am currently battling the Powers-That-Be behind my sofa, and I should soon (hopefully) have a new identity.

Hey, look everyboby, Yak, no symbol, no Scumpit is now....er....Scumpit. Yey.

oh what a PRETTY name scumpit is.

Flipwinky's a groovy name too.
So's Jim the Wonder Llama. Any relation to Dolly the Sheep, Jim?

I THOUGHT I'd seen myself somewhere before!
If you don't mind me asking, Yak to Scumpit. How'd that come about?
And just why Flipwinky (it sounds like some sort of game played with tiddly-winks)

I changed from Yak to Scumpit due to an accident down the back of my sofa. See the journal on my home page for the full story.

ohhh im not filp anymore i have my newer, much more mystical name. OOOOoooOOoOOOoOoOOOooOOOhhhhhhhhhh! i feel all floaty!

Incredibly strange name.
It makes me think of a massive, looming, grey ghost factory, high up on the misty hill.
I really should lay off the caffeine.

Whispermill......ooooooooo. That is a kind of eerie name, isn't it? I'm thinking of changing my name, but that would probably upset the balance everywhere! People would sit there and go "Who? How dare he butt into our conversation. Oh, he was there all the time and we didn't notice!" It'd be sooooo embarasing

I changed my name, twice. I got around the problem by telling everyone who cared (nobody) in the forums. They make a guess anyway.

Don't change your name anyway. What's wrong with it? Have you gone off llamas?

Nah, but as they say, variety is the spice of life.

What were you going to change your name to?