h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hmmm... I think that the stuff that is not happening is just really small. If you squint stuff is going on all the time.

no i looked REALLY close and still nothing happened (beside giving me a headache) . Honestly sometimes stuff just don't happen.... probably.

Sometimes, when you look at nothing, you can see the really tiny stuff going on on the surface of your eyes.

hmmmm... good point. but while your looking at nothing something might NOT be happening behind you. ha!

There is nothing wrong with nothing anyway. I think sometimes there is not enough nothing...and altogether too much stuff.

your right. but then there are sometimes when nothing happens and you relly want some stuff to happen.hmmm.... there should be some sort of government benift scheme to help those who have less stuff happening in there lives.

You mean the stuff-deprived (as opposed to the under-stuffed). Good idea!

yes there should be a big van full of nice friendly, and interesting people that drives around and hands out stuff to the stuff-deprived. it would be loads of fun when you were bored and the stuff-van arrived.

That sounds like special event stuff. Everyday stuff should be arranged overnight by operatives of the Ministry of Stuff.

what like they have board meetings everynight deciding what stuff to set up to happen the next day? sounds good! Now we just have to get "The Bill of Stuff" passed though parliment(or equivelent in Canada) andwe will be on our way to a stuff filled world!

Parliament is altogether too stuffy. It's full of stuffed shirts in over-stuffed chairs. None of them seem to have the right Stuff.

The Ministry of Stuff should be housed in a radically new building (or bag of some sort). The minister should be a youthful crackpot, who resembles a scarecrow.

we will have to set up a stuff selection board to get the right sort of people to spread the stuff........ I know we could put up some posters with a guy pointing at you and saying "YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU! TO SPREAD THE STUFF!"

Lord Kirchener with a red nose and BoZo wig that flips up at the sides to emphasize really important stuff! And...and a roaming stuff committee in a hovercraft that looks like a gypsy caravan.

i know what the first thing im going to do to "spread the stuff". im going to walk around looking quite normal when i will sudenly stick a live fish in someones hand and leg it! that should give them something to talk about for a while.

In my mythology that role is played by The Impish Distributor and his friend The Elephant of Surprise.

First we'll have to do a survey to find out what people want from Stuff. Do people, for example, want Stuff that can be fitted nasally?
And if Stuff starts happening in peoples' lives, how much Stuff is allowed to happen before they are taken off the 'People In Need Of Stuff' list.
We must consider all of these things before we begin distributing stuff. Or maybe we shouldn't bother and just have a cup of tea instead. Maybe we could even have Cafe Noir biscuits, but they might be too expensive.

Another avenue to explore: the exorbitant price of stuff.

yes we do seem to pay a hell of a lot of tax on stuff. many people in inner city, council housing have to go stuff less for long times.

hopefully we can get a lottery grant so we can bring a little stuff into everyones lives

If so many people are Stuffless, why don't we get a Stuff Collection Agency? We could get people to leave all their excess Stuff outside in fluorescent yellow bags, and have volunteers come round the streets at an unnecessarily early time in an unnecessarily noisy van, and collect it all up. I mean think about it, I bet everybody has loads of Stuff they never use. Look behind your sofa, there's always plenty going on there. I found a new species of water-buffalo behind mine the other day.