h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sorry but I'm not a rich right-wing Capitalist who can afford to have the internet at home. And seeing as college is out for summer, I can only get on the net about once a week. So ya boo sucks to you.

By the way. Are those cookies made /by/ Jehova's Witnesses, or /of/ Jehova's Witnesses?

Well, I could tell you, but first I'd have to kill you.

Yes. We used to tell people, then kill them...but since we told them that up front, they'd always run off after we told them without waiting for the actual death part--bother that. Since you have an immortal soul, though, we decided that it would be just as rewarding to you, the consumer, if we killed first and told you immediately afterward. Now we only have a 25% after telling run away rate, as opposed to our previous 95%. Wonderful decrease. And in the occasion of a run-off, the dead are much easier to catch.

Perhaps if you just killed them outright, there'd be no reason to give them the information, and you could save £millions per anum in administrative costs...