h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

III
The large figure stepped forward walking like a God as he faced the crowd.
"I am free!" he voice boomed across the tomb.
Raxaar stepped forward. "My Lord," he bowed humbly and signalled for the others to do so.
"You are the one who has released me?"
Raxaal nodded.
Xinal moved slowly forward. "I am in your debt! I have waited for centuries to be free and re claim my empire! I shall spread us across the stars conquer every world in existence!" his voice echoed around the chamber.
"I have released you to help us, our people have forgotten their warrior ways and become politicians, we and many others are preparing for war!" Raxaar.
Xinal was taken back by this. "Then we shall re build the Martian empire you and I, with me as your leader how could you possibly fail!"
"Very easily!" the Doctor shouted, reminding everyone else that he was still present. Xinal turned heavily to take in the Doctor and Peri,
"Who are these..." he waved his claw as if searching for the right word, "things" he settled on.
"The female is a human" Raxaar explained,
"and therefore of little importance" Xinal added,
"Agreed my Lord" Raxaar appeared to have taken on the role of drivelling side kick to this new, higher power, "But the male...is a Time Lord"
"Time Lord?" Xinal asked, without taking his eyes from the Doctor,
"Of course" Raxaar apologised, "Our kind had not met this particular species at the time of your imprisonment"
"Rejuvenation" the hulk corrected him, "I was placed here so that my body may repair itself"
"A thousand apologises oh Lord"
"So this...Time Lord, his name would suggest some form of claim to hierarchy"
"I can assure you that you are mistaken, they have a means of time travel but we are as yet to discover its true meaning"
"Another mistake we must correct"
"This Time Lord, is still present" the Doctor reminded them in slightly more than an irritated tone"
"And the human" said Peri sulkily.
Grand Marshall Zacrax of the Martian high council stood solemnly at the observation window in his office. Suddenly he noticed a flare across the sky, as if something had exploded. He activated his intercom with his Lieutenant.
"Have any of our ships engaged an enemy?" he asked.
There was no reply. Before he had time to consider the situation a laser blast hit him in the back.
Two Martian warships approached the space station and almost immediately opened fire, the space station exploded into flame. The war it seemed had begun...
"Stop this barbarity!" the Doctor bellowed as the image on the screen replayed the demise of the Grand Marshall's palace,
"Barbarity?!" Xinal roared, spinning ungainly around to face the Doctor who was chained into one of the spare seats of Raxaar's war rocket, "Who are you to pass judgement? You call this brutality but you defend a species that knows nothing but death and bloodshed. This is no worse than any crime the human race has committed!"
"Hey!" Peri decided that she really should stand up for herself but the restraints made this difficult and it was hard to speak in the carbon dioxide thick atmosphere.
"Yes, but" the Doctor protested, "humans have poetry and charities. They realised that war was wrong long ago!"
"In that case, how do you explain this?" Xinal motioned to Kraxaar and the Ice Warrior depressed a button on the control panel and images flashed up in a series.
The holocaust
Hiroshima
September the eleventh
Men being gunned down in the street
A homeless child
The pictures finished and Xinal turned back to the Doctor and spoke once again, but in a much quieter voice,
"You Doctor, are nothing but a hypocrite"
IV
The War rocket came to a halt and the ramp of the ship slid down. The Ice Warriors escorted the Doctor and Peri off the ship as Raxaar and Kelyar came out. Xinal was the last to leave. He observed his surroundings and realised that he was in a Martian palace, his own in fact.
"Your palace my Lord." Raxaar said.
"Excellent!" Xinal was obviously pleased, he looked around as the memories flooded back to him.
Raxaar approached the Doctor. "I must leave now Doctor, I have other things to attend to."
"How disappointing." The Doctor said sarcastically.
"Kelyar, mind probe the Doctor...as for his companion, execute her at once."
Raxaar left his cloak sweeping out behind him.
Kelyar advanced on the Doctor, the slender mind probe clutched in his hand whilst Kraxaar raised his sonic blaster and aimed it at Peri.
"I really wouldn't do that if I were you" the Doctor warned the two Martians,
"Your pleading will not help!" Kelyar promised him,
"Oh it wasn't that" the Doctor shook his head, "It was this!" He jumped up and pulled hard on one for the tubes on the undercarriage of the war rocket. It came loose easily and he aimed the open end straight at Kelyar.
The Warrior screamed, dropping the mind probe, and clutched at his face. Ice crystals were forming across it and the rest of his body. The Doctor swung around and sprayed Kraxaar before he had time to react.
"Quickly Peri!" he yelled,
"Where are we going Doctor?" the student asked as she stumbled after the Time Lord,
"Where ever Raxaar and Xinal are headed! We have to try and stop these assassinations before they become a full blown civil war!"
The Doctor and Peri ran out of the palace frantically avoiding the sonic blasts from the enraged Ice Warriors.
"Doctor?" Peri said as they dodged the blasts.
"Yes."
"If we dont have the Tardis then we are stuck here!"
The Doctor ground to a halt as they stopped outside.
"Good grief your right!" as the truth dawned on him another blast came from behind them.
"Into the rocket!" he shouted.
They ran inside Raxaar’s war rocket, he had obviously decided to take another mode of transport, lucky for them.
As the ramp slid up the rocket fired into action as the Doctor worked at the controls. The Rocket shot into space.
* * * * *
"How do you know how to fly this thing?" Peri asked
"Well the basic functions aren't a million miles away from the TARDIS" the Time Lord explained whilst punching at a series of buttons on the controls in front of him,
"But you can't fly the TARDIS all that well either" Peri mumbled,
"There is nothing wrong with my piloting skills!" the Doctor said indignantly, twisting in his chair to face his companion,
"Doctor watch out!" Peri shouted.
The Doctor turned back to the controls to see a large comet heading straight for them on the scanner screen. He pulled down hard on a couple of levers and the ball of ice swung away below them.
"And also, where precisely are we heading?"
"Wherever Raxaar and Xinal are"
"Which is?"
"How am I supposed to know?"
Raxaar stood on the bridge of the flagship of the fleet. He stood because the Commander's seat was occupied by the massive form of Xinal, who kept complaining that they didn't make chairs as big as they used to.
The ship itself was an awe inspiring sight. It's basic frame was that of an average war rocket but a hundred times bigger and with thousands of small structures along its back. On the bow was the symbol of Martian Lordity, one of the few things was the same as it had been in Xinal's day. Other smaller ships and war rockets followed it in the standard spearhead formation.
"This planet to which we are headed" Xinal leant forwards in the chair - which groaned under the weight of his massive frame - to talk to Raxaar, "It is rich in mineral wealth?"
"Indeed it is my Lord" Raxaar replied, "We have made attempts to colonise it before but their defences were to strong, but with your might we cannot fail to succeed"
"But if it is this close to Mars then why did they not strike back?" Xinal was obviously uncomfortable with having to ask so many questions.
"We were united into the Alliance before they had the chance"
"Alliance?" the giant Martian rolled the word around his mouth, "What is this "Alliance"?"
"A form of unity between many of the planets"
"And I trust we shall be breaking free of this unity? It is dishonourable to rely on rival species!"
"Indeed I agree my Lord Xinal, but break free, we shall not"
"*WHAT!*" Xinal jumped to his feet in outrage, the floor shook and whined violently under the strain,
"Please my Lord" Raxaar made soothing movements to calm down the terrifying hulk, "What I mean is that we shall conquer the Alliance and use the advantages of their planets to our advantage"
Xinal's shoulder sank and he rested back into his chair, "That is acceptable. What is the name of this planet?"
"Earth, my lord"