h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Doctor and Ace could hear the sound of gunfire and explosions outside the ship.
"We've arrived" the Doctor pointed out needlessly, "in another conflict" Suddenly Ace was on her feet, her face was held in an expression of anger,
"What do you think you're doing Professor?" she asked the Doctor, her voice was very annoyed and irate,
"What do you mean?" he asked innocently,
"It’s not like you to just give up, sit back and let the bad guys win!"
"But Ace there's nothing I can-"
"There's always something!" Ace bellowed at him, "A paper clip, a bit of cloth, you can use anything to escape"
"Ace your confidence in me is touching but..." he trailed off and looked back at the floor again,
"But nothing Doctor! If you've given up fine but don't expect me to"
She turned away from the Doctor and stormed over to the door. She bent down and began examining the lock. After a couple of minutes of tapping pointlessly at the buttons she sat back on her haunches and huffed, before straightening up, pulling back her fist and smashing the fragile plastic into millions of tiny pieces. The door slid open.
"Ace!" the Doctor exclaimed,
"That's the trouble with hi-tech stuff," remarked Ace, dusting off her hands, "They expect sonic screwdrivers and fusion cutters, but they forget about good old brute force"
* * * * *
In the laboratory Chekawowe was examining the items that they'd requisitioned from the Doctor and the girl. A thin tendril of slime had sprouted from his form and he was using it to pick and examine the objects one by one. He reached into the girl's backpack and removed what resembled a silver, metal bottle with a safety cap on top. He removed the safety cap and examined the mechanism underneath. He opened a communications channel with Mhssca who was in the Time Frame Remover Chamber.
"Mhssca" he called
"What do you want now?" the woman asked, her voice was made slightly fuzzy by the radio,
"The stuff you removed from the girl, nothing dangerous was there?"
"The scanners indicated no lasers, phasers, tasers, sonic or projectile weaponry"
"Oh good" Chekawowe closed the channel and twisted the mechanism.
* * * * *
The entire ship lurched as an explosion echoed from somewhere deep within the ship. The Doctor and Ace were thrown against the curved wall in order to steady themselves.
"Ace you didn't...?" the Doctor asked his companion with a serious expression on his face,
"Nothing to do with me Professor" Ace smiled and walked on down the corridor.
* * * * *
Mhssca entered the control room, which was in flames and reached for the sprinkler system, turning it on she saw no sign of Chekawowe and the rest of the room was in pieces. She smiled. But as she did she heard a strange liquid like sound, small particles of blue slime slid across the floor eventually forming one giant blob.
"Who were you expecting Santa Claus?" Chekawowe glared at a shocked Mhssca.
"Trying to kill me and receive all the money yourself eh?" the blob hissed.
"Are the frames removed?" Chekawowe demanded.
"Yes, we are going to the rendezvous point now." Mhscca said.
"Good, and if you ever try to kill me again, you can consider your life at an end!" Chekawowe wobbled as he slithered out of the room.
Mhscca scowled after he had gone and walked from the room.
* * * * *
The ship shook as it landed at its rendezvous point. The Doctor and Ace watched a ramp slide down from the entrance to the ship; a few seconds later Chekawowe and Mhssca strode past and left the ship.
"Ah, meeting their master I would assume," said the Doctor peering out down the ramp.
"Shall we follow them?" urged Ace at his elbow.
"Absolutely!" the Doctor said and he and Ace departed from the ship. The surface of the planet was rocky and treacherous; clouds of mist surrounded the deep mountains which were covered in snow. On the top of the tallest mountain the Doctor could make out an enormous castle obviously equipped with some sort of high tech equipment. Chekawowe and Mhssca stopped on a round strip of metal on the surface, as they did so railings shot up around the metal and they held on as it revealed itself to be a hover bout and shot up into the air towards the mountains.
* * * * *
The hover bout stopped at the entrance to the castle on the mountain and a dizzy Mhssca and Chekawowe stepped off the disk as it shot back down the mountain. They stared in terror as a swirling pool of black energy appeared before them, it stopped swirling and turned to a mist and cleared. It revealed a dark figure wearing black robes and a purple cloak; the figure lifted its head to face them revealing the black skull of Rasputaltron.
* * * * *

The Doctor pulled Ace away as the hover bout landed back in front of them.
“Should we get on?" asked Ace, The Doctor nodded and smiled, "In my experience you never find anything out unless you take chances" They stepped onto the metal circle and it shot off up the mountain.
* * * * *
Rasputaltron led Chekawowe and Mhssca across the plateau and into a tunnel in the rock face below the castle. The tunnels were hone from the rock, but the walls were still lined with black metal panelling. A door slid open and they stepped into a cavernous chamber with huge rock walls. There was a raised metal platform in the centre of the room with an expansive screen that took up the entirety of the opposite wall. Rasputaltron rested down into a high backed leather chair in the centre of the platform. Barok was sitting in a smaller version of the same chair next to him. Rasputaltron settled down in his chair and gestured for them to take a seat. Mhscca sat down on a red velvet lined chair opposite them and Chekawowe slithered onto one next to her.
"You have the frames?" Rasputaltron said; it was clearly not a question.
"Yes, all of them." Chekawowe reported.
"Well?" the black skeleton hissed.
"They are on my ship." Chekawowe said realising he should have brought them with him.
"Honestly, You could have brought them with you!" Rasputaltron hissed. "Fetch them!" he ordered.
Chekawowe nodded at Mhssca and she turned and walked from the room.
"I trust you can build your machine?"
Chekawowe wobbled. "Of course."
"Good."
"And your promise?" Chekawowe said ominously.
"I shall restore you to your true form, yes, yes I am a man of my word."
Rasputaltron smiled at his servant.
* * * * *
The hover bout came to a rest on the rocky ledge and the Doctor and Ace stepped off.
"That's some fortress," Ace gasped, staring at the imposing fortress ahead of them,
"And in the sort of suitably over-dramatic position that you'd expe-" he stopped sharply in mid-sentence, grabbed Ace's arm and pulled her behind a rock to their left,
"Hey what was that for Professor?" Ace asked indignantly. The Doctor put a finger to his lips and pointed over the edge of the rock. Ace peered carefully over the grey boulder. Mhssca was walking across the plateau in between the castle and cliff; her blaster was cradled in her arms.
"What's she doing going back?" Ace asked the Doctor,
"I don't know" the Doctor replied. But he'd spoken to loudly; Mhssca had heard them and raised her blaster. The energy bolts crashed into the rock they were hiding behind.
"Quickly Ace!" the Doctor shouted. The two of them dived out from behind the rock as it cracked into tiny pebbles and they ran, crouched down back towards the hover bout. They leapt onto it and the metal rungs slid up around them.
"Damn you!" Mhssca shouted as the metal platform slid gently through the air away from her. She stopped at the edge of the cliff, checked the energy gauge on her blaster and fired. The shot impacted onto the bottom of the hover bout and it arced sideways, off course, through the sky, leaving a plume of acrid smoke and flames behind them.
"We're going to crash Doctor!" Ace shouted over the din of the whining engines,
"I know!" the Doctor replied, "Just hold tight" There was an almighty rumble and crash as the disc contacted with the ground and dug a deep trench into the gravel-strewn ground. It came to a rest in the centre of a primitive settlement full of stone huts. As they regained their senses they realised that they were surrounded by hundreds of tiny, grey, withered humans.
* * * * *
With no way back down Mhssca activated her communicator and an image of Chekawowe appeared.
"You were quick!"
Mhssca stifled a nervous gulp. "I met the Doctor, I tried to capture him but he got away on the hover bout, it crash landed in some sort of primitive village!" she reported nervously. Suddenly Chekawowe was pushed out of the image by Rasputaltron. "He must be found! You get the frames! I will deal with the Doctor!"
Mhssca bowed as the image faded away.
* * * * *
The Doctor and Ace backed away as the withered peasants extended their hands towards them.
"Um, hello, my name is the Doctor and yours is?" he said nervously. The withered creatures still advanced silently, pushing the Doctor into a corner.
"Stop!" a hissing voice shouted from behind them.
The creatures stopped and turned to face the new arrival, an elderly man with very little hair was standing at the entrance to one of the small huts. The man strode over to the Doctor.
"Greetings, My name is Azrael," the man said.
"Ah, I am the Doctor and this is Ace!" the Doctor said.
"It is not often we get visitors." Azrael said. "Come in!"
The Doctor and Ace followed Azrael into the larger of the huts and took a seat at some primitive looking wooden chairs along with Azrael.
"Your village seems somewhat primitive, if you can build things like that fortress then why do you live in these sorts of conditions?" The Doctor questioned Azrael.
"Since the dark one came he has forced us out of our true home and exiled us without food or supplies out here!" Azrael explained the look on his face sour.
"Who is this dark one?" The Doctor asked curiously.
"Only a few of us have seen him, he is a figure with much power, he works with a small demonic creature who speaks to us occasionally from the heavens and punishes one of us a month!" Azrael explained angrily.
"Yes but a name!" The Doctor insisted.
"He is called Rasputaltron!"
The Doctor gave a horrified look. "This all makes sense now!"
Ace nudged the Doctor. "But we saw him die!"
"Obviously he didn't!" The Doctor turned back to Azrael, "What do you mean he punishes one of you once a month?"
"Once every month, he will send his daemon creature down to take one of us away, they disappear into the cliff face, and they never return" the old man explained. The Doctor put his head in his hands and looked blankly at the walls.
"Do you think you could take us to this place in the cliff face?" he asked,
"Certainly" replied Azrael, "But you may also like to know first that another of your kind is here"
"You mean another human?" asked Ace
"Yes, yes, yes" the old man replied. He turned to the door and called out,
"Azroth! Bring in the other guest" Another one of the small grey creatures led a man in a Georgian outfit into the room. He had thin blond hair and a pair of duelling pistols at his side,
"Good day" the man shook hands with the Doctor and went to kiss Ace's hand but she pulled it away,
"A hand shake will be enough" Ace assured him,
"I apologise my lady. Perhaps I should introduce myself, I am Ethan Forbes"
"But how did you get here?" asked the Doctor,
"Well it was a funny thing. I was escaping from these French communist pigs and I sort refuge in a very large haystack. To my surprise I found myself in a most unusual construct. I avoided the two other occupants of the craft but when next I managed to exit the craft I found myself in this God forsaken country. The others on the craft had left so I made my way across country here"
* * * * *
Twenty minutes later Azrael had led the Doctor, Ace and Ethan to the place in the rock where people kept disappearing.
"Are you certain that this is the place?" the Doctor asked the old man,
"As certain as certain can be" replied Azrael, "They just sort of… vanish"
"What do you reckon it could be Professor," asked Ace.
"Some sort of hologram perhaps" the Doctor replied. He stepped back, charged forwards and smacked straight into the solid stone wall.
"Are you alright Professor?" Ace asked as she ran over to where he was lying on the ground,
"I'll live" he replied,
"You should be careful Doctor" Ethan suggested.
"Doctor" Azrael called, "What is this?" he was pointing at a tiny, almost unnoticeable golden bump on the rock.
"Looks like some form of concealed switch" the Doctor replied. He pressed it and nothing happened,
"Another dead end" sighed Ace,
"Not quite so" the Doctor smiled at her, "Ethan, do you think you could try walking through the rock now?"
"But it's solid" replied Ethan,
"Just try it" Sighing deeply Ethan stepped forwards and disappeared through the rock. The others followed and they found themselves in a long tunnel, with jagged, rocky walls.
"Can you hear that?" asked Azrael. They all listened and sure enough, there was a sound; a scratching, bustling sound. Suddenly a strange creature, similar to Azrael’s people but with bestial horns and huge fangs lunged from the darkness.
"What in God's name is that thing?!" shouted Ethan as he made a hasty retreat back the way they'd come,
"It looks like some sort of mutant," the Doctor shouted back, "It might have once been one of Azrael’s people" They reached the end but the wall had become solid again and there was no sign of a switch.
"What are we going to do Professor?" Ace asked breathless. The Doctor held up a hand to silence them all and stepped cautiously forwards. The creature slowed down as the Doctor approached and began to look at him,
"What do you want?" asked the Doctor. The creature cowered away from him and began to make noises like it was hurt. The Doctor gestured for the others to move past him whilst he kept the mutant busy. "There, there, no need to hurt people"
Suddenly with a harsh snap of its slobbering jaws the creature leapt forwards and clawed at the Doctor,
"Run!" They sprinted along the corridor, Azrael being surprisingly swift for his age. The tunnel slowly bent around before ending in a black, metal cubicle.
"What is this contraption?" asked Ethan and Azrael at the same time,
"A lift" replied the Doctor as he hit the up button and the doors slid across, separating them from the mutant. "I think that that's what Rasputaltron has been doing to your people. Genetic experiments"
The lift began to move even though none of them had pressed the button.
"That's odd," he said as he stared at the control panel on the side of the lift.
The lift ground to a halt and the doors slid open. They stepped out of the lift and looked at their surroundings.
"A control room!" the Doctor announced.
"Indeed Doctor!" a hissing voice shouted from behind them. The Doctor turned swiftly to face Rasputaltron.
"I would say “so we meet again” but you probably get that all the time don't you?" the black skeleton mused.