h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After having my car more than a year, I just figured out last week that my VW Beetle has a spoiler. It comes up when I drive too fast or when I press a button under the dash.

The guy who sold me the car officially gets an F- for not telling me about this feature.

You'd better check it out for other 'James Bond' type features!

Hmm... maybe I have an ejector seat... or a missle launcher.

aN EJECTOR SEAT WOULD BE QUITE EXCITING , BUT i WAS WORRIED ABOUT THE INADVERTENT USE OF MACHINE GUNS OR 'STINGERS' (Those things that fall out of the back and puncture the tyres of those following

I'll have to be careful about which buttons I push while I'm in the 'cockpit'. With the traffic we have, I keep thinking that something to move drivers who have slowed to 'rubber neck' at the latest accident instead of driving at a reasonable pace would be helpful. Maybe I should get a Land Rover and put a cow catcher on the front.

I always fancied having s'thing that would puncture the tyres of those who overtake me unsafely, and shoot past whilst breaking the speed limit.

I'd have to watch out if I knew you were on the road then. I overtake in a safe manner (lovely 4-lane highways) but am one of those speed limit breakers.

I'm ordinarily not a speed limit breaker, having been trained and then passed an advanced driving test. However, I'm embarrassed to admit that I've been fined twice for speeding in the past year, having been caught by speed cameras. These are the first time in 34 years of driving that I've ever been fined. There is a proliferation of speed cameras throughout the UK at the moment, ostensibly to improve road safety; but the cynics believe that they're there mainly to raise revenue either for the police or the Government. The problem with the latter is that the money so generated does not necessarily go towards improving our road network.
One of the newspapers this weekend carried an article about a 23 mile stretch of road that has 45 speed cameras!!!

45 in 23 miles?!?! That seems like overkill. We have red light cameras. Tulsa has grown too much in the past few years and the infrastructure can't keep pace. Solution: turn left on red or step on the accelerator when it's orange. Two of the top 10 worst intersections in the US are in Tulsa within about 2 miles of each other.

I'm proud to say that I haven't been stopped in the last few years and have the corresponding rating on my insurance to show for it. *shines halo* Of course, I got my first ticket about 3 weeks after getting my license...

Ah well, better. Spending . (Hope I got that right - could find the correct emoticon). I've also been putting together a Guide article on comets, but I'd better and prepare for tomorrow.