h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, I was sitting here, listening to REM's 'Reveal' - perfectly reasonable, I thought - when my mum walks in to complain at me, as parents are wont to do. "That's more moany music you've been buying then." My mother obviously resents two main points: firstly, that I listen to music that isn't written by Andrew Lloyd Webber; and secondly, that I have to spend money to do so. This raises the question: 'Why didn't I go to Edinburgh University?'

But hang on, I don't have to spend money to listen to music - if I got the right programs I could download almost any music I wanted to my home computer. And Mr Robbie Williams himself has declared his backing for this, apparently. So why don't I? I suppose the answer is: I'm not really sure. It's probably all tied in with my sense of guilt (not sense of quilt - that is entirely different). I have a terrible conscience, it won't let me do anything even remotely naughty - I have panic attacks for skiving lectures, which is a regular hobby for many students (especially Arts students; we've got to fill our time somehow). I can't help thinking of all the poor musicians I would be depriving of money if I downloaded their music instead of buying a copy.

You may say that many musicians are well enough off as it is, we don't need to buy their records to keep them afloat, and this is certainly true of Mr Robbie I-back-music-piracy Williams, who has made a fortune from being a cynical ex-boybander. On the other hand, I suspect Space aren't really rolling in money and the Divine Comedy's Neil Hannon doesn't live in a mansion. Or maybe he does, I don't know. You get my point, anyway, I feel. This is where the guilt kicks in. So it seems I'll have to keep buying my moany music, and my conscience can be appeased through knowing that Tommy Scott will be able to afford lunch tomorrow.

R25968 21:09 21/1/03