h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What already???? I ambled into my local supermarket the other day for a packet of bin liners, and what do I find? A host of fake greenery, christmas cards and the sort of stuff you throw away almost as soon as you get it home. Time to get the tree down from the attic, dust off the same tired old Christmas carols, office party antics (fat chance at our place!) and Christmas anecdotes. I suspect also that in spite of Delia, Nigella and other gods of the kitchen everybody will be having the same turkey-with-all-the-trimmings dinner. And someone will remember the year that the resident cook forgot to remove the plastic wrapped giblets from the innards of the hapless bird. (Has anyone really done that??)
And the awful anti-climax of the days-following-Christmas, starting with Boxing Day. No matter what the rest of the year is like, there is an terrible inevitability about December. All sane, soothing and normal life is completely suspended for a month, and January and February are the months when we pick up the financial reckoning. Oh please let's cancel Christmas this year. Lets just refuse to have anything to do with the whole stupid business. Or better yet,let's kidnap Saddam Hussein, George Bush and Tony Blair, tie them up and force feed them turkey and sprouts until their eyes bulge.