h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This weekend, I believe I may have witnessed the greatest piece of accidental slapstick that man has ever created. Womankind could never pull this one off, it's just TOO dumb.
To set the scene, the boyfriend and I were indulging in the usual post-coital piss-taking (is that normal?) which inevitably leads to childish name-calling and occasionally hair-pulling. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I love a guy who can make me laugh...and your nasal hair is really tickly.
Toyboy: Isn't it funny when it gets tangled with your moustache, Hitler?
Me: Y'know what'd be funnier? Me plucking your nostrils, gimp.*grabs nose*
Toyboy: Aaaargh!*pings bra-strap*
Me: That's it, prepare to be wedgied!
Toyboy: Bring it on!
Me: Awww, I couldn't do that to you 'hunny bunny', it'd hurt Disco Stu.
Toyboy: I'll do it myself then.
Me: Go on then, I'm waiting.
Toyboy grabs the elastic on his boxer shorts and pulls it northwards...then he loses his grip, the elastic snaps back on a rather delicate piece of his anatomy, and his fist rebounds into his right eye smacking his head against the bedpost.
Me...actually, I was laughing so hard I couldn't talk. I'm not totally heartless though, I gave him a pat on the head and offered some ice.
Toyboy: If you tell anyone about this I'll kill you.
Hence this journal entry on the web. I just had to share what is, potentially, the greatest moment of my life...until I talk him into performing the Self-Kick-in-the-Arse whilst standing next to a cactus wearing rollerskates that is...

I just had an asthma attack AND nearly pissed myself reading that

I saw it first hand, nearly gave myself a hernia.

Did toyboy find it funny though?
..and no dear i'd say the piss-taking isn't exactly normal

Yeah, once the pain faded. I'm not looking forward to the revenge...

It isn't normal? Even if you're cuddling while you ridicule? I suppose it isn't normal to refer to his willy as Disco Stu and wave goodbye to it at the bus-stop either then?

.... huggy that has cheered me up......has he joined the soprano's now

Disco Stu? please tell me you're kidding!

have you been getting enough medication?

it could have been 'Duff Man' OH YEA!

I don't even wanna go there

Duff man? Thank you! I've got a name for when it's not up to much now.

I'm getting plenty of medication... how do you think I came up with Disco Stu in the first place?

' i could do with some myself at the mo between my toothache n injured foot

Dear Bob, what have you done to your foot this time?

you've not read my journal then stood on a piece of glass yesterday n sliced my toe nastily the butterfly stitches only have to stay till saturday though

I read the tooth journal, didn't see the foot bit though. Glass in the foot is never nice. Did it go right through your shoe or were you barefoot?

It was in the pants one somewhere..


I was barefoot..oooyah!

Oooyah indeed. Have you been getting it kissed better or can't he stand the smell?

never you mind!

That's an admission of guilt if ever I saw one.

Well..i mightve been getting a little sympathy

Have you considered breaking a leg?