h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am from Scotland and as a Scot I am expected to be obsessed with the game of golf . But no I hate it beyond comprible human feelings for a sport . I have tried it many a time and frankly end up bored out of my skull . I find myself wandering for miles on end chasing a tink white ball over country side only to his it away again with a stick . The notion and enjoyment escapes me . I'd rather swallow razorblades . I think falling into a coma maybe a little bit more exciting than playing 18 or even 9 holes of golf
Yours Truly (annoyed)
Researcher # 26468

Being a golf widow I can only agree that it seems a terrible waste of time, money and effort especially when my garden needs sorting out!!!
My biggest concern is the fact that they come home very grumpy from a poor round and take it out on me....If my hobbies made me so hateful I'm sure I'd be told to give up or shut up!!

To paraphrase James Brown:

"Golf...(good God!)...what is it good for? Absolutely nothin'!!"

The Scots invented Golf as a joke. The British thought they were serious!
Abe

A good walk ruined! And why do they wear those stupid trousers?

Golf - obsessed people trying to hit a small round projectile into a small round hole with implements which have been specifically designed to be totally unsuited for the purpose.
An expensive way for those obsessed people to share and relive frustrating segments of their existence over and over and over again with anyone who will listen.
It really says something about the Scots that they also invented the haggis, caber tossing and the kilt - and adopted the bagpipe as their national instrument - no wonder they invented whisky.

I this where the phrase 'talking balls' comes from?