Tank Tops
Created | Updated Jun 21, 2013
Commonly made out of particularly itchy wool, the tank top is essentially a sleeveless jumper (like the ones cricket players wear) and is almost exclusively produced in colours such as brown, beige or, in abnormally psychedelic examples, a combination of numerous different coloured threads, knitted in such a way as to produce repetitive striped designs. Besides the lack of sleeves the other significant feature of a tank top is an improbably deep v-neck, reaching in some cases down to the base of the ribcage. During their heyday the tank top was worn exclusively in conjunction with wide-flared trousers and shirts with inexplicably large collars, and the colour-schemes of these other items of clothing was often specifically selected to clash hideously with the aforementioned woolly vest.
A Brief History
Although now the preserve of middle aged History teachers and children's TV presenters, the Tank Top was once a truly global fashion trend. In the late 1970s and early 1980s tank tops were considered by many to be far superior to standard pullovers, and there are many unconfirmed examples of some less fashion conscious pedestrians actually being assaulted in the street because they refused to tear the sleeves from their sweaters and expose the arms of their no-doubt brown stripy shirt for all to see.
The original trend is believed to be at least partly attributable to Benny Andersson of legendary Swedish pop group ABBA, who shot to prominence in a time when stylists were few and far between in the music industry. As a result the inherent lack of fashion sense displayed by Benny and fellow bandmate Bjorn Ulvaeus, sleeveless woollen cardigans rapidly became the chosen attire of teenagers and music lovers the world over, the distribution of wearers spreading across the globe much like the cloud of radioactive dust and gas from Chernobyl did on August 26th 1986.
Thankfully, the after effects of the Tank Top revolution are neither as severe, nor as long-lasting as the fallout from the doomed Nuclear Reactor on the Ukraine-Belarus border, and while a few unfortunate individuals are still afflicted by the consequences of having Tank Top wearing relatives, their suffering is incomparable with the tragic after-effects of radiation exposure in the Belarussian population.
The Tank Top even enjoyed a brief resurgence in popularity during the mid 1990s and is still very much a cult fashion item, making the occasional appearance on the catwalks of London, Paris and even Milan, albeit in some significantly modified form.
It remains to be seen whether the tank top will once again become haute couture, although history has shown a tendency for fashions to be recycled by later generations.
