How to drink Newcastle Brown Ale

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To drink a pint bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale from a pint glass, there are several distinct steps.

STEP 1: Remove top from bottle (very important).

STEP 2: place pint glass (upside down) over top of bottle (so that the top of the glass rests against the side of the bottle just below the neck).

STEP 3: While still holding the pint glass onto the bottle, turn the whole assembly the other way up (So that the glass is now the right way up, with the upside down bottle inside it, touching the bottom of the glass, some of the ale will spill out, leaving a small pool of ale at the bottom of the glass, surrounding the neck of the bottle.

STEP 4: tilt the glass and gradually move the upturned bottle further toward the top of the glass.

STEP 5: When the glass is half full, pull the bottle sharply out of the glass, turning it the correct way up in the process (at this point, it is best to hold on to the pint glass to avoid fatal spillage).

STEP 6: You will now be left with a half full pint glass of Newcastle Brown, and a half full bottle of Newcastle Brown, and the bottle will have all the froth. Start to drink from the glass. (The ale goes flat quicker in the glass than in the bottle).

STEP 7: When you have drunk about a quarter of this half-pint, tilt the glass again and pour some more ale into the pint glass, taking it back up to the half-pint mark.

STEP 8: Repeat step 7 until the bottle is empty (apart from the froth, which still should not have found it's way into the glass).

STEP 9: Continue to drink until glass is empty.

STEP 10: Get another bottle.

STEP 11: Repeat Steps 1-10 until you are so rip-roaringly smiley - drunk that the barman refuses to serve you. Well, both barmen. You are smiley - cdouble by this point.

STEP 12: Stagger drunkenly home.

STEP 13: You have now had so many smiley - ales that you go to smiley - zzz.

STEP 14: Wake up. Feel rather smiley - ill. Ill-advisedly get out of bed. Have a remarkably large smiley - hangover and therefore drink lots of smiley - coffee.

That is how to drink Newcastle Brown ale.

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