The Planet Sex
Created | Updated Mar 30, 2002
In a distant solar system on the outer edges of the galaxy lies the planet Sex. Here the Sexians found that aggression, greed, jealousy and all other human failings stemmed from sexual frustration. Crippled by wars, famines and social and ethnic rivalries they decided to act.
So with the magic of genetic engineering everyone had been made sexually beautiful and overtly randy. Through new laws and traditions they transformed their planet into a sexual paradise. So free, unfettered sex became commonplace, a way people would say hello, goodbye and everything in between.
When Sexians went to the shops in the morning, as well as politely having sex with everyone they met on the way they would also pay for their newspaper, cigarettes and pint of milk with sex.
When at work they’d have sex in board meetings, sex with business clients, sex with receptionists, cleaners and everyone else.
When watching the telly at night the newsreaders would be having sex with the camera operators whilst talking about which world leaders had sex at whatever summit. Soap operas and action films were non-stop orgies of gratuitous sex. Even hard-hitting social documentaries and wildlife programs were just about sex.
All sports were mixed events, and whoever won was based on the quantity sex scored.
Pubs, restaurants and bars were just places to have sex and even church on Sunday was for the worship of god through copious amounts of sex. Of course marriage ceremonies had to change so that new partners promised to love and cherish each other whilst having plenty of sex with who else wanted it.
Now all this sex wasn’t to every ones taste and a small religious cult formed based on celibacy. They could sometimes be seen walking through high streets with shaved heads and baggy clothes chanting ‘no sex please, I’m having my dinner’, or ‘be green don’t shag trees’. Recognised as a threat to authority, most were arrested and sentenced to 20 years hard sex. Those that remained went underground.
Of course all this sex, sex and more sex couldn’t last forever. One day, for no good reason someone got a venereal disease. Soon everyone had it and nearly all the planet died overnight. Those that remained to take over laid down new laws of celibacy and the remaining Sexain population eventually died out leaving the planet Sex an uninhabited world.
Now the ledgened of the planet Sex is told thoughout the galaxy with the simple moral – “if you are going to create a society based on rampant sex – make sure they use condoms”
So with the magic of genetic engineering everyone had been made sexually beautiful and overtly randy. Through new laws and traditions they transformed their planet into a sexual paradise. So free, unfettered sex became commonplace, a way people would say hello, goodbye and everything in between.
When Sexians went to the shops in the morning, as well as politely having sex with everyone they met on the way they would also pay for their newspaper, cigarettes and pint of milk with sex.
When at work they’d have sex in board meetings, sex with business clients, sex with receptionists, cleaners and everyone else.
When watching the telly at night the newsreaders would be having sex with the camera operators whilst talking about which world leaders had sex at whatever summit. Soap operas and action films were non-stop orgies of gratuitous sex. Even hard-hitting social documentaries and wildlife programs were just about sex.
All sports were mixed events, and whoever won was based on the quantity sex scored.
Pubs, restaurants and bars were just places to have sex and even church on Sunday was for the worship of god through copious amounts of sex. Of course marriage ceremonies had to change so that new partners promised to love and cherish each other whilst having plenty of sex with who else wanted it.
Now all this sex wasn’t to every ones taste and a small religious cult formed based on celibacy. They could sometimes be seen walking through high streets with shaved heads and baggy clothes chanting ‘no sex please, I’m having my dinner’, or ‘be green don’t shag trees’. Recognised as a threat to authority, most were arrested and sentenced to 20 years hard sex. Those that remained went underground.
Of course all this sex, sex and more sex couldn’t last forever. One day, for no good reason someone got a venereal disease. Soon everyone had it and nearly all the planet died overnight. Those that remained to take over laid down new laws of celibacy and the remaining Sexain population eventually died out leaving the planet Sex an uninhabited world.
Now the ledgened of the planet Sex is told thoughout the galaxy with the simple moral – “if you are going to create a society based on rampant sex – make sure they use condoms”
