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Vaguely interesting, multi-fabric, things which the bi-pedal species called human beings tend to wear on the hangy off bits which are attached to the appendages they call legs at the bottom of their bodies. There are those who find this extremely boring however and feel an overwhelming urge not to wear shoes. This is often to do with a political decision (i.e. "Don't go around in your bare feet!") that was made the night before, and that this specific bi-pedal has decided to react against it.

On the odd occasion they regret this, as they tend to stand on plastic covered electrical appliance extensions (also known as "plugs" for some completely inexplicable reason). This usually causes an irresistible urge to jump up and down in agony and yell a few dozen profanities. Sometimes this may involve a trip to a local building full of people who don't want to be there, called a hospital. The result of this is often completely unsatisfactory, and the biped finds an attractive young nurse, gets married, has 2.4 children (a rather barbaric practice which involves a scythe, but the guide will not go in to that here), and lives apathetically-ever after.

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