How to get the Babel Fish
Created | Updated Feb 8, 2003
In the official Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Infocom game, getting the Babel Fish is a rather tricky subject. After a good bit of investigating this issue, I am proud to say that I have figured it out. If you have always wanted to achieve this goal, read on. However, I shall warn you that if you want to hold the glory of discovering this secret on your own, turn back at once. Here goes...
To begin, I will list the necessary materials for this process. When you get to the Vogon Hold, be sure to have the following:
- Your gown
- A towel (as if you didn't know that one.)
- A leather satchel (you can pinch it from Ford if I remember correctly.)
- Junk mail (Be extra careful with this one, you get it very early, before you even leave the house.)
Provided you have all of these, here is what to do to set up this ludicrously elaborate scheme:
On the wall opposite the Babel Fish dispenser, there is a wall with a hole in it. If you push the button on the dispenser at this point, the fish will shoot straight through the hole. This is, of course, a terrible thing to do to a fish, and to prevent it, do as follows: hang your dressing gown on the hook above the hole.
With your gown on the hook, the fish will simply slide down the gown until it hits the floor, which it will in fact not do, because there is actually a drain there where you would expect to find a floor. To prevent the fish from going down the drain, you will want to put your towel over it beforehand.
Now this, you may think, is all you will need. That is not so. Once the fish hits the towel a cleaning robot will shoot out of a panel in the wall, scoop up the fish, and race to a panel on the opposite wall. This is not a problem, however, because you can simply block its path with Ford's leather satchel. The robot will hit the satchel and will then cause the fish to fly through the air.
From here you may expect to catch the fish, or pick it up when it hits the floor, but there is a second airborn cleaning robot that is there to prevent that from happening. To prevent the second robot's prevention, put the junk mail on the satchel in front of the panel mentioned previously. This way, when the first robot hits the satchel, he sends the junk mail into the air along with the Babel Fish. The second cleaning robot flies through the air, furiously grabbing all the mail it can, and in the process, misses the fish.
From there, the fish lands with a sound "squish" in your ear.
Click here for a diagram (yes, I drew it.)
Implementing this Profoundly Interesting Knowledge
After you have the fish, you will be able to understand the poetry of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz. Contrary to what you might expect, this is in fact a good thing. When he reads you his poetry, instead of getting all tense, you should just sit back, relax, and enjoy the poem. You'll be much better off that way, and it can greatly reduce your stress level. Now, after you are thrown into the airlock, there is a glass case with an atomic vector plotter. You must enter into the keyboard something like the first word of the second verse of Jeltz's poem. I don't remember what this word is, but I'm sure you can figure it out. After opening the case, you have full access to the atomic vector plotter. The obvious problem with this, however, is that an atomic vector plotter is obviously a very complicated and unusual device. You have access to two elements on the plotter: a long dangly bit and a small receptacle. I have tried everything I can think of, but I have not discovered what to do with this infernal thing. Any ideas would be appreciated, or perhaps you know and you would like to share your knowledge.
Enjoy.
