Nesun Dorma
Created | Updated Feb 7, 2003
No Sleep Tonight. Thats the literal translation. Not a phrase that has played a great part of my life; until now. However, as I write this I am more than aware that sleep is beyond me tonight; Nesun Dorma. Absolutely.
In every ones life there are pivotal moments, every day we are faced with many hundreds of decision that affect the future flow of our lives. Thankfully, for the sake of human sanity, for the most part we are blissfully unaware of this process and stride through life blinkered to its existence. That is not the case for me this evening; no cushion of hindsight protected me from the vision of my fate unfold before me, as I watched in horror as I sealed my own fate.
I was offered the dream; I will spare you the details, but you have all been there. Imagine your own dreams are there before you to take and you will be able to picture my fate. I said no. Everything offered on a plate and I said no. Why? What a cutting question in a word so brief. Was the dream good, yes definitely; was it real, of course; but was it good enough? I chose to think it was not and am now left with carte blanc and a rapidly drying bottle of wine.
How could I make this decision; it is not that I was unaware of the significance of my words even before I had spoken them. Fate chose to curse me with the full realisation of the impact of the next words I was to speak, even before I uttered them. Am I able to make this decision? Are any of us to be considered worthy custodians of our own fate? I doubt it. I see now why nature chooses to be kind and cloud our minds to the consequences of much of what we do. No sleep tonight, no not for this wretched soul, none. But, go now and away. Put me from your mind and pray to what ever you hold sacred that life chooses to bless you with the ignorance of fate!
In every ones life there are pivotal moments, every day we are faced with many hundreds of decision that affect the future flow of our lives. Thankfully, for the sake of human sanity, for the most part we are blissfully unaware of this process and stride through life blinkered to its existence. That is not the case for me this evening; no cushion of hindsight protected me from the vision of my fate unfold before me, as I watched in horror as I sealed my own fate.
I was offered the dream; I will spare you the details, but you have all been there. Imagine your own dreams are there before you to take and you will be able to picture my fate. I said no. Everything offered on a plate and I said no. Why? What a cutting question in a word so brief. Was the dream good, yes definitely; was it real, of course; but was it good enough? I chose to think it was not and am now left with carte blanc and a rapidly drying bottle of wine.
How could I make this decision; it is not that I was unaware of the significance of my words even before I had spoken them. Fate chose to curse me with the full realisation of the impact of the next words I was to speak, even before I uttered them. Am I able to make this decision? Are any of us to be considered worthy custodians of our own fate? I doubt it. I see now why nature chooses to be kind and cloud our minds to the consequences of much of what we do. No sleep tonight, no not for this wretched soul, none. But, go now and away. Put me from your mind and pray to what ever you hold sacred that life chooses to bless you with the ignorance of fate!
