The Tom Green Chronicles Revisited

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This chapter was influenced heavily by both the music of Howard Shore, and the angelic voice of Ben Delmaestro. So if anyone gets offended because of what I've written this week, please feel free to blame it on someone other than me for once. ;-)

Jade: Where? Where do I go? *goes about packing a small rucksack with clothes and necessaries*
James: You must leave. And leave quickly.
Jade: Where? Where do I go? *throws her rucksack on the bed*
James: You must leave the citadel. Make for the village of Phobos.
Jade: Phobos.. *mulls it over for a moment and dashes into her (lovely) closet to change into something more suitable for travel than a dressing gown* *from inside the closet* What about you…?
James: I’ll be waiting for you. At the inn of the Prancing Ponyta. *he grins*
Jade: And the gauntlet will be safe there?
James: I don’t know Jade. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of Team Rocket. He is both wise and powerful. …He even has an eye-patch!

Jade: He's a pirate, then?
James: *ignores her last comment and presses on* Trust me Jade, he'll know what to do.
Jade: *comes out of her (lovely) closet wearing a punk kittens1 t-shirt, blood red corduroys with a spiky black belt, and a pair of fake antennas2 in her hair.*
James: You'll have to leave the name Jade behind you. That name is not safe outside this Citadel. Travel only by day. And stay off the road.
Jade: *She grabs her rucksack off the (lovely) bed and slings it onto her left shoulder* I can cut across country easily enough.
James: My dear Jadie... Humans really are amazing creatures. You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years, they can still surprise you.
Jade: You haven't been alive for a hundred years, you're ju— *a noise can be heard in the hall*
James: Get down.
Jade: *drops to the floor on her stomach*

*James leaps out into the hall, and kicks at something Jade can't see. Someone says 'Ouch!' and James grabs them by the scruff of their neck, dragging them into the room and throwing them on the bed*
Jade: *gets up on her knees and peers over the edge of the bed* What the he—
James: *still clutching the person by the neck* Who the smiley - bleep are you…?
Jade: Sera! What the smiley - bleep are you doing here…?
Sera : I came to visit…?
Jade: How did you even get here…?
Sera: *shrugs as best she can with James' hand about her neck* I hitchhiked.
Jade: Noble though that is, why the smiley - bleep are you on Mars?!?
Sera: …Need I remind you that we're getting a bit off track here?
Jade: Oh right. The quoting thing. Carry on then.
Sera: Right, thanks. *looks at James* Was it my line or yours?
James: I think it was mine, wasn't it?
Sera: Indeed it was.
James: Right then. *clears his throat* Confound it all, Seraphine Brandybuck3! Have you been eavesdropping?
Sera: I haven't been dropping any eaves James, honest! I was vacuuming the carpet in front of the doorway there, if you follow me.
James: A little late for vacuuming the hallway, don't you think?
Sera: I heard raised voices!
James: What did you hear? Speak!
Sera: Nothing important! That is I heard a good deal about a Firefly and Jade, and something about Jade loosing her powers, but—please Mr. James sir, don't hurt me. Don't turn me into anything… unnatural.
James: *raises an eyebrow* And how would I do that…? I'm only a librarian.
Sera: Oh right. Heh. Could you let go of me then? Erm, please?
James: Sure thing. *lets go of her*
Sera: *sits up, rubbing her neck* …Ow…!
Jade: Oh Sera, don't be a menace…
Sera: Well it hurt…
Jade: Wuss. Anyway, we have to go.
James: Leave tomorrow. Remember, I did say only travel by day…?
Jade: Oh right, that.
Sera: Heh.
~*The next day*~
Sera: Well how very convenient. It's the next day!
Jade: Well so it is.
James: Yes, serial stories usually work out conveniently that way, for the characters involved, anyway. Now then, have you got everything packed and all?
Jade: We had yesterday. But if you recall you wouldn't
allow us to leave.
James: Ah yes, there's that.
Sera: Anyway, we ought to set off now.
James: Novel idea, ne4?

*Jade and Seraphine leave the citadel through a side door. They both have a pair of false antennas on as to not be noticed. They walk and walk. And walk. And stuff. And then they decide to take a break. Jadie perches in a tree and Seraphine pokes at some meat in a pan with a bit of stick. Jade's head perks up.*
Jade: Sera, do you hear that?
Sera: *looks up* Hear what?
Jade: Come on! *she jumps down from the branch and pokes Sera in her arm.*
Sera: *frowns* Hey! *she runs off after Jade.*

*They stop in the bushes just before the road and watch as a large group of clefairys5 walk along it.*
Jade: They're going to the forests beyond the Citadel… To the Pokémon havens…
Sera: They're leaving Mars…
Jade: *she nods* Never to return.

*A clefairy walks by, singing what seems to be the theme song to the Pokémon television show.*
Sera: I don't know why… but it makes me sad…
Jade: *punches her in the arm*
Sera: Ow! What was that for?
Jade: *shrugs*

*They go back to their makeshift camp, finish sitting in trees and poking at meat with sticks, and go on their way.*

Ta daaaaaa!!!! Here's another one, then. What was a veiled joke has rather inadvertently turned itself into a full-blown epic. I really hope you kids are enjoying this 'cause it's one heck of a strain on my brain, figuring out how to weave two storylines together. *Gollum voice* It burns, it burns! The elf witch has twisted it…

Tom Green Chronicles Mark II

Jedi Jade

06.02.03 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1, Martians have antennas. No, Jade does not. She is not originally from Mars, and in order to pass by the locals unnoticed, she must wear a pair of false ones in order to not be noticed.3Yo, she's my sister. Heh.4Japanese for 'isn't it?'5A cute pink type of Pokémon that sings a lot. And makes people to go sleep. And it has this metronome attack that will blow your bum off.

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