Meeting People on the Internet
Created | Updated Mar 30, 2002
What a fantastic new way to meet people- find them on the internet! Well, I say "b******s" to that, mostly because I like to say "b*****s". Meeting people on the internet sucks. Your soulmate is invariably living at least a thousand miles from you, if not across a whole damn ocean. So you spend nights wishing you could meet this person and talk to him/her/it in person. But it will never happen. And if it does happen, then there is a good possibility that he/she/it looks nothing like you thought he/she/it would look. Even if you have a picture, everyone knows people look only vaguely like they do in pictures. Then, there's that awful feeling when you fall desperately in love with someone on the internet, only to find that they're hideously ugly and you wouldn't normally go near them with a ten-foot pole. Yes, I know some would say that it's better that way, you fall in love with the person rather than the looks. But be real, folks. Looks matter. If you fall in love with someone you find ugly, then you probably will just feel as though you missed out on someone great, just because he/she/it sparks no sparks for you sexually. Trust me, I've been there. If, on the off chance that you meet your soulmate online and everything goes swimmingly and you get married, that can be attributed to chance. you're just as likely to find your soulmate at a club, or in the park, or at the record store. So I say, don't go looking for love, you're bound to find only heartache. Instead, be nice to people and someone will fall in love with you. And if you're really lucky, you'll fall in love with him/her/it too.
