Chapstick
Created | Updated Sep 21, 2005
A Chapstick is a cylindrical tube with a removable cap at one end. Inside this tube is a small stick of wax that can be adjusted up or down by a little gear on the bottom. It is applied to the lips in order to prevent chapping, drying, and cracking. It is amazing that something so insignificant as a tube full of wax can be such an essential part of someone's life, yet many people's survival depends on the availability of this substance in mass quantities. Chapstick comes in many flavors, colors, brands, and species. There is the original chapstick, which, by coincidence, is patented as "Chapstick," causing other companies attemting to cash in on this phenomenon to use names like "Lip Balm," "Lip Moisturizer," "LipCote," "Liplikz," and "Chap-Zapper." None of these names seem to carry the, shall we say, oomph of "Chapstick," usually just making the companies look like fools. Then there are the "Non-Chapstick" companies, many of which are just as high-quality as the Original Chapstick, but some of who are just hell-bent on making some quick cash. These companies attempt to capture the tastes of chocolate, root beer, bubblegum, and strawberries, and never come up with anything other than something that resembles a flailingly miserable wax-coated Pixie Stik. Pixie Stiks resent this strongly and hold that they are one of God's greatest creations, but that is another subject and shall be covered elsewhere. In conclusion, I will say only buy chapsticks from licenced retailers, and even then stick with the good companies, like the Original, Carmex, and Bonne Bell. Happy chapsticking!
