h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~The tumbling tumble weed rolls back again~

Oh... tis just me then is it... oh well...

Night all...

Greebs..xx

Poor Greebo and her ever decreasing circle...

Meanwhile, that's no tumbleweed, that's Wowbagger's beard! Watch in horror as it goes marauding across the plains of Asia, up through central Europe, ravishing women and children and laughing in the face of strong men. Will it reach Blighty in time for the meet where we can put a stop to its trail of destruction by showing it a good time?

That picture is just far too surreal for me to cope with!

to learn more Dutch which is a far simpler concept than a marauding Wowbagger beard.

shazz

Don't worry shazz, I'm sure Wowbagger's beard is safely stored away tucked up in velvet lining in its beard box... or is it? Wowbagger may think it is but actually... //it's just a beard for the beard// EEEEK!!!

It has been known to attack those with exposed ankles so beware.

Yes, but that was when you were wearing it. Don't blame the beard.

Curses! You said you weren't looking at the time!

I didn't have to look, they were my ankles.

Yes... I thought the taste was familiar.

*sigh*

Who know what evil fun it is currently having this moment (and with whom).

Sorry about that, it comes from keeping caviar in my turn ups.

Maybe, who knows, maybe the beard is all spent. Leaning on some bar - you know, punk, I kinda forgot how many martinis I just had. Maybe it was five, maybe it was six - before straggling back to the hotel with a pair of vivacious sideburns it picked up for kicks. Later it sits on the edge of the bath with a Remington to its head, staring bleakly into the mirror. It wonders what the hell it was playing at, then goes and trades the Remington in for a plane ticket back to a chin it can call home. And who can ask for more than that in this crazy old world?

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Good night sir. And ma'am (if shazz if she's still about).

Sweet dreams (not about facial hair we hope - maybe you shouldn't have stuffed the pillows with it). x

It's the only way to keep the blighter from wandering off and causing mischief.

*Goes to get said pillow case to show.*

Gads! This pillow case is full of... pillow stuffing! There also seems to be a hole in one end of the pillow case! Now this may seem perfectly normal to some... most... well all of you I suppose but to to me it means that... my beard has escaped!!!

I'm not scared:


//I remembered an old tip of Dad's; always kept his bicycle clips on; said it stopped rampant beards from getting up the trouser legs.//

Beards hate being clipped.

I thought they'd appreciate the freedom.

some things i think i might be better off not having explained to me
monsy

I'll update you Monsy .
I am currently beardless.
It seems my beard has travelled north for the winter and is getting up to mischief.

Seems? Seems!!!?? Just look at the trail of destruction! El Nino has nothing on Wowbagger's beard. I begin to suspect it's not a beard at all but a Tasmanian Devil that hibernates symbiotically on Wowbagger's chin. Perhaps this explains the amount of alcohol he has to pour into it to keep it subdued...

...or to keep the chin anaesthetised.

Yes, a sensitive chin is the very dickens. You may just have come up with a way to shave painlessly or perhaps not. I don't have much nose and I'd like to keep what there is.