The merits of baths and jumping in the river
Created | Updated Mar 31, 2002
Yesterday I went shotgun shooting for my merit badge. It was very hot. Incredibly hot. Mind-bogginly blistering hot. Sweat
streamed down our faces. It was fun though. Afterwards, my friend and I wandered aimlessly around town waiting
for his mother to pick us up at my step-fathers office, the local newspaper (he's the editor- http://www.cyberhighway.net/~record/).
As I said before, it was very hot. It had turned from the heat where the sun beat down on you like a giant supernova in the sky
to that muggy heat that gets you all sticky that happens right before a storm. We were daring. We were wanderers. We,
as it turned out, were stupid. We wandered around town, stopping once in a while to buy supplies, for about an hour.
By the end of that, we were incredibly sticky and tired. We sat down and decided to have a philosophical discussion, though none
of us really knew what we were talking about. The conversation went like this-
Friend- "Man, the @*&%ing system we use @#%#ing sucks. We should convert to the @#%#ing metric system."
Me- "You #%#ing retard, we already did, but Jimmy Carter #%#$ing said so much stuff against it, we $#%#ing acted like
it never happened, you #%#ing moron..."
And so on, until his mom pulled up.
I suppose you're all wondering what the hell this has to do with the subject. Well, I'll tell you. If you don't know what time it is,
it's about early June right now (the date of this message). The river is high, some would say cold, and dangerous.
We love it.
We plan to go swimming today, jumping in off a cliff into 4 feet of water. People are making me cut out the barbed wire
that lines the cliff edge, but there really is no reason for it.
The point is: If you're really sticky, jumping in the river is really cool and fun. Same works with baths. Never try to sleep
when you're hot, sweaty, and sticky. It never works. Trust me.
streamed down our faces. It was fun though. Afterwards, my friend and I wandered aimlessly around town waiting
for his mother to pick us up at my step-fathers office, the local newspaper (he's the editor- http://www.cyberhighway.net/~record/).
As I said before, it was very hot. It had turned from the heat where the sun beat down on you like a giant supernova in the sky
to that muggy heat that gets you all sticky that happens right before a storm. We were daring. We were wanderers. We,
as it turned out, were stupid. We wandered around town, stopping once in a while to buy supplies, for about an hour.
By the end of that, we were incredibly sticky and tired. We sat down and decided to have a philosophical discussion, though none
of us really knew what we were talking about. The conversation went like this-
Friend- "Man, the @*&%ing system we use @#%#ing sucks. We should convert to the @#%#ing metric system."
Me- "You #%#ing retard, we already did, but Jimmy Carter #%#$ing said so much stuff against it, we $#%#ing acted like
it never happened, you #%#ing moron..."
And so on, until his mom pulled up.
I suppose you're all wondering what the hell this has to do with the subject. Well, I'll tell you. If you don't know what time it is,
it's about early June right now (the date of this message). The river is high, some would say cold, and dangerous.
We love it.
We plan to go swimming today, jumping in off a cliff into 4 feet of water. People are making me cut out the barbed wire
that lines the cliff edge, but there really is no reason for it.
The point is: If you're really sticky, jumping in the river is really cool and fun. Same works with baths. Never try to sleep
when you're hot, sweaty, and sticky. It never works. Trust me.
