h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

American Football. A contridiction of terms. See Oxymoron. Football is association football. Using the hands is a no no (except the goalie, who should really be the one in green). Using the hands when you're a cheating five foot nothing, cocaine sniffing arse is a bigger no no. The real champions of the world, are as every outside the US knows, France. The real glamour team in the world of football, I hate the term soccer, are Manchester United. So if you want to know about football stop messing about with that thing called american football which in reality is more like rugby anyway.