Festivus, a Holiday for the rest of us.
Created | Updated Dec 26, 2002
Festivus, a Holiday for the Rest of Us!
"There could be another way..."
Festivus, beginnings.
Created by Frank Costanza after a failed attempt to buy a doll for his son George, thus the creation of Festivus.
The Traditions:
The Airing of Grievances
Starting with the head of the table, everyone goes around and states how everone else at the table has disappointed them since last Festivus. Yelling is encouraged, and if your train of thought is broken, you pass the rest of your turn.
The Feats of Strength
Anyone can challenge any other person at the table to a no-holds barred wrestling match. The defender may pass the challenge to another person, who cannot decline the challenge.
Food
Anything you can eat
The Festivus Pole
The pole must be Tall, silver, long, skinny, and heavy. Decorations are not tolerated.
Gifts
Also not tolerated.
The Hardships of Festivus Celebrators
Alas, not many people are aware of the miracle of Festivus, and thus, many employers do not honor requests to have a day of for Festivus on the grounds that it is, in fact, not a real holiday.
Possibly the most famous case is Cosmo Kramer v. H&H Bagel. Kramer, a Festivus celebrator, was denied the day off for Festivus and walked out. He was unsuccessful, but got the day off, and was re-hired only to be fired for getting gum in half of the the bagel dough...
The NATIONAL HUMAN FUND will gladly take your donations to help support the international spread of Festivus
The aftermath
still only a few people celebrate Festivus, but Ben & Jerry's® Does make an ice cream flavor for it.
So forget Christmas, Channuka, or Kwanza and pick the better choice...