Design by Committee
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
There exist on the planet earth, many items which were obviously
designed by a committee. These objects come in various shapes and
sizes and share one important design feature, in that they nearly
but not quite, possess the attributes requires to actually do the
job that they are required to do.
In brief: Avoid.
Several examples are provided to help you identify classic examples
of design by committee..
Coffee Stirrers.
These devices come in a number of shapes a comprise a small disposable
plastic stick flattened at one end and designed to stir hot liquids
in order to mix in sugar or milk. By law, they must be no taller than
the level of liquid in the cup, and must soften and bend on contact with
with hot liquids, such as tea and coffee such that they end up coiled
up in a circle or other strange shape. (This also gives rise to a
curious earth phenomenon, called the "Office coffee spoon sculpture
olympiad")
Fast food restaurant straws.
These long plastic tubes are provided to allow you to drink from
cups of cold drinks purchased from fast food restaurants. Their
main feature is that the amount of suction required to draw a
mouthful of drink through one of these straws is greater than the
wall strength of the straw, and they invariable lose their round
tube shape, and get recycled into coffee stirrers.
Canned drink vending machines.
These machines provide much entertainment for the hitch hiker.
The major flaw in their design is that they provide the customer with
a pressurized can of drink through a chute which has been designed to
shake the can's contents as much as possible. The practical upshot
of which is that when the customer opens their drink can, they are
invariably showered with it's contents.
Personal stereos.
A personal stereo is designed to provide the user with their favourite
music without inconveniencing others. Instead of playing music to all
around it, it plays music to the user, and disguises this fact by making
a noise that sounds like "tssshh tssshh tssshh tssshh tssshh"
regardless of the type of music being listened to, thus preventing
those people nearby from hearing music that might annoy them. European law
requires that at least one passenger on a bus is equipped with such
a device.
Ten tools in one.
Tools which claim to perform ten functions usually fail to perform any
function adequately. Being made from substandard components, the
screwdriver bends, the knife merely scratches, the corkscrew rips the
cork to shreds instead of removing it cleanly.
These tools are usually sold by people dressed as craft experts on
television shopping channels, and are not available in the shops, not
because it's a special television-only offer, but because no shops are
crazy enough to want to stock such a dangerous item.