Design by Committee

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There exist on the planet earth, many items which were obviously
designed by a committee. These objects come in various shapes and
sizes and share one important design feature, in that they nearly
but not quite, possess the attributes requires to actually do the
job that they are required to do.


In brief: Avoid.


Several examples are provided to help you identify classic examples
of design by committee..


  1. Coffee Stirrers.

    These devices come in a number of shapes a comprise a small disposable
    plastic stick flattened at one end and designed to stir hot liquids
    in order to mix in sugar or milk. By law, they must be no taller than
    the level of liquid in the cup, and must soften and bend on contact with
    with hot liquids, such as tea and coffee such that they end up coiled
    up in a circle or other strange shape. (This also gives rise to a
    curious earth phenomenon, called the "Office coffee spoon sculpture
    olympiad")



  2. Fast food restaurant straws.

    These long plastic tubes are provided to allow you to drink from
    cups of cold drinks purchased from fast food restaurants. Their
    main feature is that the amount of suction required to draw a
    mouthful of drink through one of these straws is greater than the
    wall strength of the straw, and they invariable lose their round
    tube shape, and get recycled into coffee stirrers.



  3. Canned drink vending machines.

    These machines provide much entertainment for the hitch hiker.
    The major flaw in their design is that they provide the customer with
    a pressurized can of drink through a chute which has been designed to
    shake the can's contents as much as possible. The practical upshot
    of which is that when the customer opens their drink can, they are
    invariably showered with it's contents.



  4. Personal stereos.

    A personal stereo is designed to provide the user with their favourite
    music without inconveniencing others. Instead of playing music to all
    around it, it plays music to the user, and disguises this fact by making
    a noise that sounds like "tssshh tssshh tssshh tssshh tssshh"
    regardless of the type of music being listened to, thus preventing
    those people nearby from hearing music that might annoy them. European law
    requires that at least one passenger on a bus is equipped with such
    a device.



  5. Ten tools in one.

    Tools which claim to perform ten functions usually fail to perform any
    function adequately. Being made from substandard components, the
    screwdriver bends, the knife merely scratches, the corkscrew rips the
    cork to shreds instead of removing it cleanly.
    These tools are usually sold by people dressed as craft experts on
    television shopping channels, and are not available in the shops, not
    because it's a special television-only offer, but because no shops are
    crazy enough to want to stock such a dangerous item.

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