Madelaine and nine
Created | Updated Sep 9, 2003
There are nights where i sit here thinking about the state of the world while I wait for the caffeine to wear off, and the clock to strike 11. Some nights it takes longer than others. I have to wonder what we all are doing here and all that garbage, things mere humans will never know the answer to. I think about my life and loves past, holidays spent with loved ones... and recently the holidays I spend alone. With a Jehovah’s Witness as a mother you don't get invitations to come over for thanksgiving or to play Santa on Christmas. Not that I celebrate Christmas or any other Christian holidays, but that's another entry all in itself.
Listening to Soul Coughing brings the spirit to a level not detectable by modern radar... only cigarettes and meaningful looks across a crowded room. The kind that you use to tell your lover that you wish you were alone with them right now... and no one else in the world matters. Mike’s voice always seems to grab my heart and rip it from my chest... screenwriter's blues sums up my existence far too well. So I am sitting here at my desk sucking down hot cocoa (coffee ran out. never knew that was possible.) feeling lost and alone. Guess that's how it goes in this day and age. There are days I need to run home to mommy (you know the feeling. don’t laugh.) but once I get there, all I find is a talking bible. I no longer hear "its okay kiddo" or, "everything will work out, you'll see". Now it's only biblical reference to how Jehovah loves us and this is Satan’s world... blah, blah, blah. I wonder if it is possible to get adopted at age 24. It would be difficult to train a new mother, but it may be worth it.
Just my thoughts on the matter. I could be, and probably am, wrong.
what do you think?
"i know you're a super genious"
