Smokers of the World: Unite and Light!
Created | Updated Nov 26, 2002
Contrary to the beliefs of non-smokers the world over, people who smoke do not do it malicously. The number of times I have been told to put out my innocent little ciggie by people who say "I don't want to get lung cancer" is getting so large that I'm begining to feel oppressed. Believe it or not non-smokers but the reason we smoke is not because we have this great desire to kill you - if we wanted to do that we would buy a gun, its cheaper, faster and more satisfying - but because we want to satisfy our own needs. This has nothing to do with you, its entirely selfish. We are addicted and while many of us want to stop there are stil some of us who don't. I actually enjoy smoking, I like the taste of some cigarettes and they go well with a drink when I'm out on the town.
I actually started smoking when I was eighteen, despite all the anti-smoking publicity that we are forced to endure. In fact it was probably that which started me smoking - a teenager falling for the rebellious "do not press button" trick. If I had only been told once that they were bad for me I probably would have left it at that, but the fact I was being told twenty to thirty times a day made me want to try a cigarette. After all sixty million smokers can't be wrong (maybe Philip Morris could use that as a tagline?).
I do not have a problem with my smoking, if I had to quit, health reasons, going to be a father etc, I'd like to think I could do so. But, as I dont have to quit I don't especially want to.
What I do want is to be left alone while I'm doing it. I want to be able to take two drags on that little white stick without have some genius say the words "You know those are bad for you, right?". I want to be able to smoke in public, not in restuarants or on buses because I am willing to admit that you can't escape the smoke in that environment. But in the park? Why can't I smoke in the park or on the street? Why do I have to smoke at home like its a sick and perverse thing to do? If I'm on the street and smoking and you don't like it CROSS OVER! Walk away from me! Just leave me in peace. Why should the smokers have to make all the concessions? Why should we constantly lose out? In Norway they are talking of banning smoking altogether in anywhere but the home. That's excessive, smoking and non-smoking sections are fine, we can live with that, but EVERYWHERE? C'mon, can't we just have one little bar, on the outskirts of the town, called 'The Tarpit' or something?
The worst thing that I have ever experienced as a smoker, the thing that has near-as-dammit driven me to a clock tower wth a rifle is when self righteous non-smokers whip the cigarette out of your mouth, throw it on the floor and stamp on it, then look at you like they've just done you a favour, with a big grin on their face and say "you know those are bad for you right?" I swear I could kill them.
Yes, thankyou, I am perfectly aware of the health hazards, they're written on the packet in big black letters, they're stamped underneath every advert, but HOW DARE YOU do that to my cigarette!? Would you still have that smug ittle grin on your face if you saw me smashing up your diesel engined Land Rover with a sledge hammer singing 'I'm doing you a favour' at the top of my (tar encrusted) lungs? I doubt it very much.
The fact is that cigarettes do not cause as much problems as people attribute to them. I admit that they can cause some horrific health problems and are certainly unhealthy but they are no where near as damaging to our world as cars, or gas emissions from the air conditioning that keep Americans cool all year. Nor are they as damaging to our physical well-being as the fast food we regularly shovel down our throats or the chocolate and sweets that we gorge on (in the words of the great Bill Hicks "non-smokers die every day too"). We are not a healthy race of people and cigarettes cause a minority of problems yet take the majority of blame simple because they are an easy target.
The high taxes on cigarettes keep the taxes on petrol (which is worse than cigarettes pollution-wise by about five thousand per cent - possible hyperbole) and alcohol (just as bad health wise) down. The money from our smokes goes into YOUR health service to keep you healthy and still we are frowned upon.
We don't want to kill you , we just want to smoke. That's all.
We're not asking for a return to the days before they realised smoking was bad for you - when you could smoke on the buses and in the cinema. We just want to be left alone. Please.
We are smokers. If you want us we'll be in the corner, slowly killing ourselves.
I actually started smoking when I was eighteen, despite all the anti-smoking publicity that we are forced to endure. In fact it was probably that which started me smoking - a teenager falling for the rebellious "do not press button" trick. If I had only been told once that they were bad for me I probably would have left it at that, but the fact I was being told twenty to thirty times a day made me want to try a cigarette. After all sixty million smokers can't be wrong (maybe Philip Morris could use that as a tagline?).
I do not have a problem with my smoking, if I had to quit, health reasons, going to be a father etc, I'd like to think I could do so. But, as I dont have to quit I don't especially want to.
What I do want is to be left alone while I'm doing it. I want to be able to take two drags on that little white stick without have some genius say the words "You know those are bad for you, right?". I want to be able to smoke in public, not in restuarants or on buses because I am willing to admit that you can't escape the smoke in that environment. But in the park? Why can't I smoke in the park or on the street? Why do I have to smoke at home like its a sick and perverse thing to do? If I'm on the street and smoking and you don't like it CROSS OVER! Walk away from me! Just leave me in peace. Why should the smokers have to make all the concessions? Why should we constantly lose out? In Norway they are talking of banning smoking altogether in anywhere but the home. That's excessive, smoking and non-smoking sections are fine, we can live with that, but EVERYWHERE? C'mon, can't we just have one little bar, on the outskirts of the town, called 'The Tarpit' or something?
The worst thing that I have ever experienced as a smoker, the thing that has near-as-dammit driven me to a clock tower wth a rifle is when self righteous non-smokers whip the cigarette out of your mouth, throw it on the floor and stamp on it, then look at you like they've just done you a favour, with a big grin on their face and say "you know those are bad for you right?" I swear I could kill them.
Yes, thankyou, I am perfectly aware of the health hazards, they're written on the packet in big black letters, they're stamped underneath every advert, but HOW DARE YOU do that to my cigarette!? Would you still have that smug ittle grin on your face if you saw me smashing up your diesel engined Land Rover with a sledge hammer singing 'I'm doing you a favour' at the top of my (tar encrusted) lungs? I doubt it very much.
The fact is that cigarettes do not cause as much problems as people attribute to them. I admit that they can cause some horrific health problems and are certainly unhealthy but they are no where near as damaging to our world as cars, or gas emissions from the air conditioning that keep Americans cool all year. Nor are they as damaging to our physical well-being as the fast food we regularly shovel down our throats or the chocolate and sweets that we gorge on (in the words of the great Bill Hicks "non-smokers die every day too"). We are not a healthy race of people and cigarettes cause a minority of problems yet take the majority of blame simple because they are an easy target.
The high taxes on cigarettes keep the taxes on petrol (which is worse than cigarettes pollution-wise by about five thousand per cent - possible hyperbole) and alcohol (just as bad health wise) down. The money from our smokes goes into YOUR health service to keep you healthy and still we are frowned upon.
We don't want to kill you , we just want to smoke. That's all.
We're not asking for a return to the days before they realised smoking was bad for you - when you could smoke on the buses and in the cinema. We just want to be left alone. Please.
We are smokers. If you want us we'll be in the corner, slowly killing ourselves.
