Deep Thought: Altoona
Created | Updated Dec 21, 2024
Deep Thought: Altoona
 |
Margarita, call my lawyer
The cops are onto me
And I'm here way out of network
In Altoona's Mickey D.
– with apologies to Warren Zevon
I'm not going to try to explain the US healthcare mess. Other than to say that, probably for historical reasons, it is possible to con people in this place – people who come here from every nation on Earth, so don't give me that 'national character' bs, because it's not that – into believing that it's better to allow a pack of scam artists to cause irreparable harm to their fellow humans rather than allow those same humans to work together for once. Whew. I got that out in one breath.
No, I don't know why that is. Just as I haven't been able to figure out why, that being the case, it doesn't happen everywhere. I suspect it may have to do with the history of the US: you know, competition rather than cooperation as the basis for, well, just about everything that's gone on since 1492. Just a guess. An economic historian would no doubt have a more complicated answer.
That being the case, people are becoming fed up with the current health care graft. Five years ago, science fiction author and internet activist Cory Doctorow wrote what turned out to be a prescient short story about victims of denied claims by the health-care industry who decided to take violent action against executives in spectacular suicide bombings. The story's been brought out again (you can read it at the link) to show that, well, recent events have not been entirely unexpected.
In case you live in another country and have more immediate concerns of your own: a healthcare CEO was shot dead on a public street during morning rush hour in New York City. The attacker escaped by bicycle and left the city. Social media teemed with news and opinions: the NYPD was overfunded at $11 billion. They were overstaffed, at 36,000 officers and 19,000 civilian employees. They expended too many resources trying to catch this one killer. They were only motivated to avenge his death because he was a rich white man. The NYPD was incompetent: the last time they managed to catch a high-profile killer quickly, the man left his credit card at the scene of the crime and then ambled over to McDonald's. Etc.
Strangely, the alleged shooter in this case was also apprehended in a McDonald's. The connection between high-profile murder and an overwhelming desire for fast food escapes me; but then, I haven't set foot in a McDonald's in years. I'm am literally allergic to their food.
At any rate, the McDonald's in question was in Altoona, Pennsylvania, population 43,963. Altoona is an unremarkable place, although I recommend a read of the discussion about its name on W*k*p*d**. Whether it's a mispronunciation of the German 'Altona' or a misunderstood word from Cherokee, Altoona is the stuff jokes are made of. Back in the Sixties, a Neil Simon play joked about 'two tomatoes from Altoona.' Tomatoes of the real sort play a role in Altoona's other claim to infamy, the Altoona Pizza. (It uses American cheese. Don't look if you're squeamish.)
Jorts and Jean, labour activist cats: Ah, Altoona
Michelle Travis, tech writer: I suddenly hear this to the tune of "O Fortuna" and now I can't get it out of my head.
Numerous other people seemed to want Warren Zevon to return from the dead and write the definitive song about this on the order of his Lawyers, Guns and Money. I opted for a Carmelita parody because I like the tune. Altoona may become a trope yet.
A sign that Americans are fed up with the graft can be seen in the fact that very few people admonished other commenters on social media against joking about the death of another human. On the whole, people felt, like the child in Cory Doctorow's story, that the healthcare executive had got what he deserved. Jokes were directed against the NYPD, and sentiment was directed toward the shooter. After the arrest of the suspect in Altoona, the Yelp page of the McDonald's in question was flooded with negative reviews until moderation shut it down.
Amazon executives must have been worried, as well: they removed all t-shirts for sale that bore the slogan, 'Deny, Defend, Depose.' I didn't know what that meant until I looked it up: the slogan represents the strategy of healthcare claims adjusters. First, they deny the claim. Next, they defend the decision. Finally, they depose (take official statements from) patients and caregivers. The aim is to make more money for their company's shareholders.
Will anyone learn anything from this? Frankly, I don't know. Public events don't tend to be teachable moments. In Cory Doctorow's story, the US finally passes a national healthcare bill. I have never been good at predicting the direction greed with take in this country, or how long it will take before outrage outweighs the profit motive. Boss Tweed had his downfall, but it took quite a while. J Edgar Hoover died of old age, still in office, Many people still believe he never did anything wrong. I can never tell which way everybody will jump.
'Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin,' says the Bible. My advice is not to let yourself be eaten up by frustration, but to be alert to opportunities to oppose corruption and institutional greed. You can't be responsible for what you can't fix. You do what you can. Unless you get so fed up you buy a Greyhound bus ticket and 3D-print a ghost gun. This is also a choice. But you might end up in Altoona. Don't order the pizza.
